Wow, it’s been two weeks since our last post–sorry for the lack of updates! My sister was visiting for a while, and we had such a nice time…but some things (like the blog) got neglected due to the priority of having some good ‘ol “family time.”

So here it is, another edition of “Works for me Wednesday.” (By the way, be sure to visit Rocks in my Dryer for other great tips.) I know that WFMW is usually practical, do-able stuff, but today I’ve got some ideas kicking around that are a little more foundational…philosophical…or whatever you want to call it.

While my sister was here, one of my kids made a comment at the table to the effect of, “You always love us, but you don’t always like us.” I vaguely remembered having a discussion with him to that effect in recent weeks. Ever been there? We love our children to death, don’t we? But sometimes we get overwhelmed, discouraged, or just plain disgusted.

God has worked on me a lot in this area over time. (In fact, see another related post.) I’ve determined to enjoy my children more, and there are a few things that have “worked for me” in this area. So, though not particularly practical, here are my thoughts:

I think if we want to enjoy our children more, we need to practice having an attitude of praise. Remember how, when the foundation for the temple was rebuilt, the younger generation rejoiced at the completion of the project, but the older generation grumbled because they remembered the former glory? (See Ezra 3:11-13). So don’t think about what the kids didn’t do or how you wanted them to behave; instead, focus on what went right, what was good, and how they (and you!) have made progress in areas of weakness. Maintain a positive perspective.

Reading my grandfather’s autobiography has been enlightening for me. He grew up in Oklahoma during the Great Depression, served in the Army during WWII, and was a prisoner of war of the Japanese for 3-1/2 years. It’s obvious in reading his story that the latter half of his life (post-war) was constantly viewed in light of these experiences. It was impossible for my grandfather to complain about his family, his job, or what others might perceive as hardship in comparison to what he had already suffered. Likewise, after seeing so much death and destruction, he was thankful enough to have survived. While we don’t want to get into lots of “what ifs” or let our minds wander too much, suffice it to say we need to be thankful for where we’re at and what we have. Recent news of economic uncertainty (some articles even putting our nation’s status on par with the Great Depression) has certainly caused me to be grateful for our current provision and abundance. Count your blessings!

What normally causes me to grumble or complain, losing focus on what really matters? Usually it’s an overwhelming “to-do” list or those everyday emergencies that I have trouble suddenly juggling. Then, it seems, my patience is automatically tried and I don’t respond correctly to my children. This creates an overall downward spiral in the home and family atmosphere. So what helps here? Generally, I’ve been trying to overlook “the moment” and focus on what is of eternal significance. I ask myself, “If this doesn’t work out as I’d like, will it matter tomorrow…next week…or next year?” “What is more important in the long-term: my child finishing this school assignment, or taking the time to positively disciple my child through an attitude problem?” “What has happened today that has been of eternal value?” Focus on the eternal, not the here-and-now.

Even though it all starts in the mind, enjoying your kids means that your actions will be effected. We can do and do and do some more to serve our families, but we need to remember that it’s relationship first. So even though you want to get the bathroom cleaned and homeschooling done and file your tax return, you still need to give your undivided attention to the children when they want to show you a project, or when they ask you a question, or when there’s a disciplinary issue to deal with. Make sure you take even a few minutes to participate in their play, read a story, or put on some music and dance. At the very least, smile more! “Be there” for your children.

Finally, allow your “eternal perspective” to set your priorities. Does it matter if the laundry pile sits there for one more day? Do you have to cook a three-course meal for family dinner, or will a casserole of leftovers do? Is it a really big deal if your third-grader does two pages or three in his workbook? Granted, you can’t reasonably neglect any one area of life, whether it be home management, ministry, work, or homeschooling. However, if you’re thinking long-term, some of those things will really obviously not matter much in the short-term. Do what matters most, first!

These are just a few of the things that have worked for me in helping us all to enjoy each other more as a family. Hope something here will encourage you!