Bible reading
My approach is simple. I want our children to grow in God’s Word and become accustomed to hearing and understanding the Word of God at an adult level, so I always read from an adult Bible during our devotional time. The children do also have their personal Bible reading times later during the day. At those times the younger children will read beginner’s Bibles, Bible picture books, and the like, but as a family we read aloud from a consistent translation. Some people prefer KJV, while others like the readability of NIV, NKJV, or NASB. You should choose whatever is most comfortable for you.
I am a firm believer in reading for “depth, not distance.” In other words, I don’t feel it’s necessary to cover a whole chapter in one sitting. I may begin with that intention but the Holy Spirit often leads us into discussion on a particular verse or prompts us to look up other verses that help us understand a particular point in greater detail. At other times, however, I may read more than a chapter. It usually depends on our time constraints and how well I feel the children are attending to the reading.
Love for the Word, not a legalistic approach
Even if you choose the “just read the Bible” approach, you probably are aware that there are many methods for this, as well: reading straight through the Bible, going from one book to another, or doing a topical study and digging through the many relevant Scriptures. And of course, there’s what one friend of ours called the “pray and point” method of simply asking God for an applicable Word and reading whatever passage you open up to. I’ve done all of the above at one time or another, depending on time constraints, interest level, family happenings, and the like.
For us, what has been most important is that we not allow ourselves to be bound to a legalistic view of what “family devotions” should be. We let the Holy Spirit lead us and we always focus on the Bible alone. These are our only guidelines. We want to encourage in our children a love and respect for God’s Word, and we want them to know that they can and should turn to it for encouragement, guidance, and conviction—at all times! By being flexible in our family devotional time, I believe that our children will learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and trust in God for daily guidance through personal reading and application of the Word.
Edification, not entertainment
The family devotional time should be an adult-led time. This helps children develop a reverence for God’s Word and understand its importance in their lives. While it should not go on so long as to be boring for the children (they do have short attention spans!), this is a good time to encourage them to be self-controlled and put their best effort into hearing and understanding the Word. Brief discussions, occasional questions directed at the children, and the like, will make the time interactive and interesting for the whole family.
Of course, I do try to read with inflection, occasionally take turns in the reading, or even act out different verses or stories (storms are lots of fun, and there are many opportunities for drama with the parables of Jesus and the well-known Old Testament stories of Noah’s Ark, Abraham’s almost-sacrifice of Isaac, Joshua and the battle of Jericho…the possibilities are endless!) Again, however, I do believe that the focus should be on the Word itself, and not on the entertainment value it can impart. There are plenty of other opportunities to integrate this element if you so desire, but nothing compares with teaching our children to hear, obey, and revere God’s Word as the foundation for our lives. The family devotional time is a great starting point to engender a lifelong love of the Bible.
EXCERPTED FROM “VALUES-DRIVEN DISCIPLESHIP BIBLICAL INSTRUCTION AND CHARACTER TRAINING MANUAL” by Marc and Cindy Carrier, available at http://www.valuesdrivenfam
Dear Marc and Cindy,
I came across your blog by googling “family devotions” and yours was the first to come up. So I will surmise that the Lord has brought us together. I’m going to ask you for any thoughts you may have about our situation.
My wife and I are committed Christians, our 3 daughters are not. Their ages are 17, 15 and 8. We shared our faith with the girls and taught them from the Bible from quite a young age, but seldom in any formal way. We have watched their progress over the years and changed our approach a few times.
We live in the North of England and we are seeing most kids from Christian families in our town fall away from the faith by the time they reach their teens. Something I find upsetting, yet I refuse to accept it has to be this way.
Last year was something of a crisis year. All of our daughters seemed to be doing badly in life from various points of view and we decided to put a few things in place. The 2 oldest were educated in the state system. Both were getting into the ‘wrong crowd’, the oldest was drinking too much, the second got into trouble with the police for shoplifting and the youngest was under-performing at school and getting into trouble. We have put a few things in place, such as:
· We insist that we all eat together in the evening apart from exceptional circumstances. We say grace before eating.
· My wife and I pray together and read scripture every morning before I go to work. We always make a point of praying for the 3 girls’ salvation.
· We have withdrawn our youngest daughter from school and we now educate her at home.
· The most controversial of these. We are now reading and discussing the Bible together twice a week after the evening meal.
All of these four steps take effort (and I have a slight fear that you are going to advise us to do more). I have to say that I have seen a real improvement in all of the kids. My wife finds it very hard to educate our youngest (who has been diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers), but it is worth the hard work.
But I want to ask you in particular about the Bible readings. When I first told the kids we were going to do a short Bible study together (I even bought them new Bibles) on a regular basis, my oldest daughter, (and the strongest personality) nearly hit the roof!!! We were ramming religion down her throat. She even accused of us child abuse! The middle one was more amenable and she actually seemed to enjoy it. But she is unable to show too much enthusiasm as she fears her older sister’s reaction.
I always get resistance and cynicism when I ask everyone to get their Bibles out. Daughter 1 fidgets, avoids eye contact, sighs and refuses to join in discussions, unless asked a question point blank. Daughter 2 joins in. Daughter 3 gets bored (she seems to need a 1 to 1 approach). Wife joins in and backs me up, but gets irritated by Daughter 1. We take between 5 and 15 minutes.
I am determined to do this. As their father, the Bible tells me to teach my children, so I am trying to be obedient. We are going through the story of Joseph, Jacob, Reuben, Judah etc from Genesis 37-50. Nobody else I know does this. So I have no idea how I am doing – it truly is new ground for us.
I will be the first to admit we may be doing too little too late. But I feel I have to leave a legacy for them of Godly teaching before they leave home. How firm should I be with my oldest daughter’s scornful attitude? Or should I just ignore it?
I look forward to hearing from you.
This is a tough scenario. You certainly already recognized that it is late in the game to start to get things going back on track. Let us keep the faith that what is impossible with man is possible with God. You will have to handle this entirely differently with the 8 year old than the older children. The relationship with young children is authoritarian while the relationship with teens is relational. Ideally, we take children from rules to relationship—through years of modeling the Christian life we show them what it means to be a follower of Christ. If you are attempting to implement a significant change, the older ones will most often reject the change because they do not buy into the underlying premise. If you have through years “earned” their trust and respect as their primary influencer, they will receive from you if presented in humility and love. If not, they will only receive things if it is presented in such a way that there is inherent benefit to them. With all the drivers and fleshly pulls of Western youth, you are out gunned by the world. So your only recourse is prayer, coupled with loving persistence—presenting God’s truths as they are able to receive (Ephesians 4:29 as a guide, for the benefit of the listener). Stern rules will only push the rebellious away. But be consistent and loving. Show them what it means to be a follower of Christ—freedom, hope, peace, love, and joy—these things are incredibly attractive. When they see the real Jesus, and taste the love of Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, they will come on board. However, the situation is governed by the law of seedtime and harvest. I recommend “The Values Driven Life” ebook, Keys to Kingdom Expansion (free)–go to http://www.valuesdrivenfamily.com– and “Jumping Ship” articles 1-5 (go to http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/child-training/teens/).
With the younger daughter, likewise show what it means to be a follower of Christ, incorporate character training and biblical instruction in the home education, and provide loving discipline. I strongly recommend “The Values Driven Family” ebook for rearing her (www.Valuesdrivenfamily.com). That short book has a wealth of biblical and practical insight.
On all fronts, you will need to first and foremost work on yourselves, and your relationship with the Lord and your marriage. “Doing” the right things will be received as legalistic in the absence of authentic transformational faith. Another great book to consider is “Standing Firm through the Great Apostasy” by Steve Gallagher, if it is available in the UK. Then pray, pray, and pray some more.
I apologize for giving such a laundry list of reading assignments. At a minimum, get KKE, read the NGJ articles, and get yourself a copy of VDF. VDL and the other book are strongly recommended, but I know that time and resources are limited.
I pray that the Lord grant you the faith, love, humility and patience to persevere through the rough waters ahead. He is faithful. Do your best and He will deliver His.
Shalom,
Marc Carrier