Day: May 8, 2008

From the Values-Driven Mailbag

valuesdr

I am in the process of going through some of my email folders. I have a bad habit of dumping correspondence into folders and then never actually “doing” anything with it. I guess I just hate to delete (forever) something that I might need or that has been meaningful to me at some point.

One of the things that we love about Values-Driven is getting feedback from folks about how our resources have benefitted their family. The comments and questions are also fun for us to field and we enjoy adding a bit more dimension to our online endeavors. As I was clearing out my Values-Driven correspondence folder, I re-read this one and laughed all over again. I thought I would post it, just because. Enjoy!

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(Comment:)

Help! My boys hate each other! Actually just a little prayer for my sanity as a homeschool mom would be great!

(Response:)

I, too, have days when I feel like all my kids do is bicker. ARRRGGGH!! But, the good days outnumber the bad. Unfortunately, when my children seem to be having difficulties in this area, I often have to look in the mirror–and it is painful. If my children are being short with one another, chances are I’ve been irritable and not responding to them in a kind manner–or maybe I’m just barking out orders because we’re in a rush to get somewhere. When they’re arguing about who-had-what (“that’s mine!”), very often it’s just a root of selfishness that I see in my own self as well (I want to sit down and relax for a minute; No, I can’t help you right now!…).

On the other hand, children are children…and folly is bound in the heart of a child. They are children of God with their own sin nature and their own weaknesses and failings. So even though, very often, “the apples don’t fall far from the tree,” in other instances, it’s just necessary for me to be more diligent in training. It takes a lot of patience to disciple your children, as I’m sure you’re aware. It’s easy to get lax, to want to give up. Usually I see “backslides” in behaviors when the children have been doing really well for a while and I “reward” them by relaxing the standard or not doing some of the usual teaching & training that we’ve become accustomed to. So it’s important to always stay the course, consistently pointing our children to God’s Word and the Christlike character that is His goal for us as maturing Christians.

Unfortunately, we are a “quick fix” culture (myself included). We want the maximum results with the minimum effort. We want it NOW–not 18 years from now! But, God gave us our children for many years, for a good reason. They need that many years of gentle, patient, loving, and persistent training, encouragement, and discipline. There are ups and downs! I hope you will stay encouraged in this wonderful journey. Enjoy your children and expect them to enjoy each other! I will keep you in prayer–I know how you feel! If you have any specific questions, I’ll be happy to do my best to answer.

God bless you!

Cindy Carrier

(Reply:)

Thank you so much! You really nailed it with the irritable mom, the ‘just-a-minute’ mom, and the ‘reward-the-good-behavior-by-being-lax mom’….are you spying on me????? LOL!…I’m learning!!!!! Thanks so much for your resources!

"You Never Forget Your Coffee!"

valuesdr

For quite some time, it has been my habit to get up early and spend some time with the Lord before the hustle-and-bustle of the day. Because I get up early (sometimes as early as 4:30, other times not until 6:00 or so), I very much enjoy a cup of coffee as I read my Bible and pray. (However, just for the record, I do limit my caffeine intake to that ONE cup.) After my coffee and quiet time, I take my vitamin (SuperMom!) and sometimes a St. John’s Wort capsule, then start drinking my daily quota of water. I find that these things keep my moods relatively stable, my energy up, and my mind fresh.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hit-or-miss on the morning quiet time. The reasons vary. Mostly I think it’s because Marc has been away on business four days out of the seven, and I typically take advantage of the quiet nights after the kids go to bed to work on various projects. I tend to stay up a bit too late, actually. So my morning wake-up call is usually one of the children, at which point my time with the Lord is distracted at best. Truth be told, it usually doesn’t happen at all, at that point. Of course, we still have morning and evening devotional times as a family–but it’s not the same.

I’ve also gotten more than two-thirds the way through many days lately, only to realize that I have yet to drink a glass of water. Oh, and I haven’t taken my vitamin yet! Breakfast? No, I didn’t eat yet today, either. Hmmm…put all these things together and it’s no wonder that I feel like I’m bouncing from one thing to another, slightly distracted, occasionally irritable, and definitely not at the top of my game.

I recall one day recently when I was more than a little crabby, so my husband went through the checklist with me: “Did you take your vitamin?” (No). “Did you take a happy pill?” (That would be the St. John’s Wort, thanks…NO). “Are you drinking your water?” (NO). “Did you have breakfast?” (Um, NO). At which point he merely raised his eyebrows and kind of smirked, saying, “But I bet you had your coffee. You never forget your coffee.”

And as a friend of mine recently reminded me, we sure do make time for the things that are important. I would say that all of these practical things–and especially the spiritual–ARE important. But I sometimes make half-hearted efforts and excuses when it comes to attending to them as I should.

But, oh, I always do have my morning coffee.