Values-Driven

This week I decided to potty train our daughter, who is turning two next week. That requires some micro-management, since we use the “diaperless” method. I’m trying to keep her occupied with pleasant diversions and confined to the kitchen so clean-ups are easy when they need to happen. Hopefully she’ll catch on soon. In the mean time, at least my kitchen floors are getting mopped this week…multiple times, even!

On Monday and Tuesday, the potty-training process went smoothly. Although it was difficult to balance with the other demands of life (baby, homeschooling, home management, etc.), it was all do-able. Yesterday, on the other hand, I suddenly felt like I just couldn’t cope—I couldn’t do it all! I have to admit, I kind of fell apart. The baby was crying and unusually fussy. Why?! I just couldn’t figure it out, and that was disturbing enough in itself. Then—uh, oh!—there’s another puddle on the floor! And there was my dawdler…on his own too long and guess what? He sat at his desk for a half-hour with almost no progress on his writing assignment. After running between upstairs and downstairs for the umpteenth-time, I walked through my boys’ room. They were supposed to have cleaned their room for morning jobs, and it just didn’t look like I expected it to. So I kind of lost it. Yeah, I yelled. Nagged. Complained. Knew that I was responding in totally the wrong way, but just could not control myself. It was just TOO MUCH. And yes, then I came back and apologized. But of course, the damage was already done. Thankfully, my kids are pretty forgiving.

So as I started my day with the Lord today, I had to repent, and reflect on yesterday. I was reminded that I need to be more active in “standing firm” and growing in spiritual maturity. I talked with the Lord about my concerns that my own failings would cause my children to disregard my well-intentioned teachings when it comes to matters of faith. But God reminded me of something important; something that I know, but that needed emphasis once again. And here it is (are you ready?): when it comes to making sure that my children will walk with the Lord, yes, my example is of utmost importance. BUT, it’s not just about appearances, it’s about authenticity.

Sure, I can look good—to my children and just about everyone else, on the outside. I can manage the home to a “T,” successfully integrate homeschooling into our daily routine and make sure that my kids measure up academically. I can look like I can just “do it all.” But, let’s face it, there are times when I fall woefully short—particularly when it comes to expressing Christlike character on a consistent basis. That’s where it’s important to be authentic. If I recognize that I have not attained God’s ideal in a given circumstance, I can simply confess (to others and to God), pray for the Holy Spirit to help me in my weakness, and move on in faith. My children, and others in my sphere of influence, won’t be won to Christ because I am perfect. They will be won to Christ because I am perfectly forgiven and I can demonstrate the reality of His forgiveness on a moment-by-moment basis.

I think that the Pharisees were “perfect;” at least, they wanted everyone else to think so. They were leaders and teachers, after all. But although they “talked the talk,” Jesus advised people not to follow their example. Why? Because they had the appearance of faith but not an authentic walk with God (see Matthew 23).

This got me to thinking about hypocrisy in general. I think that our children (and others) are more likely to find Christianity attractive if we actually live what we believe. We can’t be “counterfeit Christians”—saying Christ has changed us, but living as we always have. I found an interesting article online about how to spot a counterfeit bill, and I think the lessons have some overlap spiritually, so I’ll share (the facts behind this were from http://crime.about.com/od/prevent/ss/counterfeit.htm).

Basically, the way to find a counterfeit is to compare it to what you know of an original—and “look for differences, not similarities.” Frankly, that’s what others do to us when they know that we are Christians. They compare us to the standard set forth by Christ (which is a perfect example, mind you) and most often they don’t see where we’re in line with that example, they point out where we deviate from it. It’s human nature, and the best way to spot a counterfeit, after all!

The biggest difference between a fake and the real deal, when it comes to money, is that many of the printed features in the original will be distinctive and well-defined; in a counterfeit, on the other hand, images may appear blurry or details fade into the background more. I thought that was striking, because another way that people challenge the authenticity of our faith is that we look no different than the culture around us—we try to “blend in” sometimes, don’t we? But we should stand out, and be set apart. That’s how we show ourselves as genuine followers of Christ.

These two facts I had some basic awareness of before reading the article. But here’s one thing that was new, and very interesting: “Genuine currency paper has tiny red and blue fibers embedded throughout. Often counterfeiters try to simulate these fibers by printing tiny red and blue lines on their paper. Close inspection reveals, however, that on the counterfeit note the lines are printed on the surface, not embedded in the paper.” Wow! Talk about convicting. There’s the whole “appearances” theme again—do you see it? As Christians, we want to make ourselves “look” a certain way—but our behaviors aren’t just things to “do”—they should be a reflection of Christ in us. He should be directing our thoughts, speech, and actions from within; the lifestyle of faith should be embedded in us.

Another way to spot a counterfeit is to hold it up to the light. When you do so, you should see several defining features, including a watermark, a security thread, and color-shifting ink. Do we appear genuine when we scrutinize ourselves under the light of God’s Word? Do others see us as authentic when they view us in light of Christ’s example? It’s a worthy test.

Winning others to Christ through our example is not about being perfect in appearance, it’s about being real. Others (our children included) will want what we have, and will be more inclined to give credence to our words, if we accompany them with a genuine lifestyle and a constant striving towards God. Should we shoot for perfection? Absolutely! After all, Jesus did say, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). But, when we fall short, we can be transparent about our failures, seek reconciliation, model repentance, and pray for consistent progress by the power of the Holy Spirit. That’s what it’s all about.