Values-Driven

Last time we got a little philosophical on homeschooling, so now how about something a little more practical? Our planner/organizer pages for homeschooling are another download that attracts lots of visitors, and that gets me thinking about the difficulty of intersecting home management and homeschooling.

I recall reading in my last issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, “10 Tips for Successful Homeschooling,” (or something like that…sorry, I don’t have it in front of me right now). Anyway, the article was written by a mom of eight children, and her tips were good ones. One of her suggestions, though, gave me pause. She advised not do “housework” during school time, but to set aside a chunk of time during the day and keep it just for academics. I remember being surprised that she could do that with eight children! I don’t know about you, but at my house there’s always something else going on at “school time,” especially with several little ones (preschoolers) underfoot.

Maybe that was a goal—an ideal? I didn’t get that impression from the article, but it sure doesn’t seem exactly practical to me. Not that I’m knocking someone else’s way of doing things; it sure sounds like a great plan. I’d love to be able to compartmentalize things that way! But, like I said, when the rubber meets the road, I wonder how it’s possible to actually do it? I know that when we start “school time” in the morning, sometimes I have to interrupt my school-agers’ routine so they can hold the baby while I change the toddler’s diaper. Or have one of them run and get me a towel to deal with the spilled…whatever on the floor. Granted, I do try to keep interruptions to a minimum—but life inevitably goes on. If it’s not housework, it’s often “something else.”

And then there’s one of the questions that came up in “Managers of Their Homes” (a great book by Terri Maxwell—I highly recommend it!). What do you do when you have school time scheduled to cover certain subjects each day, and the assignment doesn’t get finished during the allotted time? Do you scrap the remainder of the assignment (going back to it during the next scheduled period for that activity) or do you let the child finish—which skews the “next” thing? Terri recommends staying with your time schedule and returning to the work during its next slated block. Makes me think of a friend of mine, whose daughter always seems to be playing “catch up” with schoolwork on Saturday—sometimes for a good part of the day—just for this reason. That’s no fun for anyone!

So what’s a homeschool mom to do? We need to address academics, yes. We all could use more hours in the day—so scheduling may help. But then again, it’s often a hard task-master. Setting aside “school-only” time is a great ideal, but “life” sure does happen, no matter how you try to keep it out of the way.

I’ve found that, for us, it’s important to have a “first things first” mindset about homeschooling. And that doesn’t necessarily mean setting aside “school time” in the morning and letting everything else go until later in the day. We do have time that’s earmarked for academics, but it’s helpful to be forgiving about how our time, overall, is utilized. When I see my school goals for the day getting interrupted by distractions, difficulties, sudden errands, or other things, I have to take a step back (often take a deep breath…and pray), and then remind myself to prioritize. And, honestly, academics aren’t in the number one spot. We can homeschool 24/7 and 365, so I don’t worry about “when” it will happen. I know that it will! Instead, I deal with the more important matters–the things that are of eternal value.

What that means is that first, I recognize that we are growing in Christ and want to glorify Him in all that we do. So we focus on character development, living the Word, sharing the Gospel, and all that is most valuable to the Lord. So what do we do when a child’s assignment isn’t getting done in the time period that I would like? Well, first, I make sure that my expectations have been realistic. Sometimes it’s an error on my part that causes frustration. Then, we capture that “teachable moment” and talk about what is important to God in this situation—not the assignment getting done (because we can always learn multiplication or state capitals or “whatever” another day)—but that we exhibit the character of Christ by working diligently, or by having a positive attitude about work, or by praising God for whatever circumstance we’re in. We encourage one another with topical Scriptures, pray together for a fresh start, provide encouragement if something is difficult, teach (or re-teach) if necessary, and move on in our lesson. Even if we “waste” a half-hour over these character training issues, is it really a “waste?” Maybe today we’ll have to scrap an assignment that we’d rather not—but it’ll make for a better day tomorrow! And, my children will be growing in Christ, which I consider to be of greater value than all of our academics.

Second, we are a family. We deal with each other and with real life as-it-happens. These are some of our most valuable lessons! When my older children are trying to work at the dining room table and the toddler blows through the area with her pint-sized vacuum (and boy, do I love the sound of that on our tile floor!), yes, I encourage her to go use her vacuum in the living room (on the softer, quieter carpet), and yes, I’ll remind the boys that they can go downstairs if the noise is getting distracting…but it’s also not a big deal to me if I invite the boys to stop and smile at their sister, or if they interrupt what they’re doing for a few minutes to talk to her and laugh about something. Maybe we’ll go “over” on our allotted time for their assignment, but in the meantime we’re building our family relationships and enjoying one another. Again, you just have to ask yourself, what is of greater value?

We’ve found it very helpful to “start” with a schedule. It’s a necessary discipline that helps us to determine what needs to be done, and to find out just when we’ll have time for each piece of the puzzle. Then, it’s nice to work ourselves “out” of that schedule a bit and experience the freedom of a really good routine. Because didn’t I mention that a schedule can be a hard task-master? It is often what gives us the idea that academics are for school time and real life isn’t allowed to interrupt. It can be what causes us, as parents, to neglect teachable moments when we can impart God’s Word to our children at a key time when their hearts will receive its truth. It can also be what makes us miss out on loving and enjoying one another as a family.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that it’s “bad” to have a schedule. If you do have one, then I think it’s just wise to realize that God is the author of our hours and that He will very often have a different plan than we do. So don’t get too rigid. That’s where we fall down! And remember our last newsletter article about the foundations of homeschooling? The heart of Christian homeschooling is Jesus Christ and our relationship with Him. Don’t sacrifice the relationship for a bunch of rules. If God wants something to get done, He’ll give you time to do it. If you’re frustrated and scrambling to make things happen, you’re probably trying to accomplish something that can reasonably be put off until another time…or maybe doesn’t need to be done at all. Ask God, and don’t be pressured by your own ideals or compare yourself to “the Joneses.”

Yeah, I know that as homeschool moms we have lots on our plates. It’s hard to balance it all. We don’t want to drop any of the balls we’re juggling—they’re all important! So have a plan, and work a plan—but be willing to let “life” interrupt it. Let GOD interrupt it. And rest assured that what “needs” to get done, will get done. Be realistic in your expectations: what your house looks like (i.e., how clean it will be), your academic goals for your children (does it really matter if they don’t know every detail about the Punic Wars? I don’t know if that’s ever been relevant in my life!); and, especially, the fact that interruptions will happen.

When “school” gets interrupted by “life,” remember your priorities. Put first things first. So when your child doesn’t get an assignment done during its allotted time, do you drop it and move on, or do you press through and finish—even if that means afternoon chores are sacrificed? Well, maybe on Monday it’s the former, and on Tuesday it’s the latter. Both are viable options. Ultimately, I think it’s helpful to just ask yourself, Why is God allowing this circumstance? Seek wisdom about how to manage every moment. If God has asked you to homeschool, He will equip you. Just remember to seek Him. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle-and-bustle that life (including schooling!) is just the sum of what you “do.” Abide in God’s presence and remember that it’s all about Him.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NIV).