We are firm believers in training children to help around the house. It teaches them practical skills, encourages diligence, and helps them to participate in serving others in a tangible way. (You can see this post for more.) We used to use a chore chart, as I felt that it helped me in home management and helped the children to take more responsibility for their daily work without me constantly hovering over them, having to tell them what to do. (That chore chart is still available as just one of our freebies when you sign up for our email newsletter. I’ve also seen a lot about this free online chore chart lately, but haven’t tried it.)

However, it has now been over two years since we’ve used a chore chart. At first, it was because we were trying to sell our house. As a result, we cleaned when we had a showing and it was an all-out effort rather than doing a bit each day as we usually did. Everyone pitched in and did whatever was required.

After we sold our house, I frankly found little use for a chore chart. We had moved from a 3,000 SF house to a 1,400 SF house and there was a lot less to do in terms of maintenance and management. In part because of the down-sizing and also because we prepare our home for fellowship each Sunday afternoon, I found that a once-a-week cleaning on Sunday morning made a lot of sense.

When might you find a chore chart useful? If you have fewer children and/or a large number of chores to split up between them, a chore chart might help with getting things done consistently. Particularly if you do not have a specific “cleaning day” each week, but rather do certain tasks on certain days, a chore chart is excellent for maintaining order.

When will a chore chart not be as helpful? If you, like me, have fewer chores to go around (or more children to split them up between), there might not be as much need to schedule everything.  If you prefer  once-a-week cleaning rather than doing it bit-by-bit each day, likewise a chore chart will likely not be necessary, except if maintenance during the week necessitates it.

Chore chart alternative: In my home management binder (which contains emergency and other contact information, homeschooling records, and recipes), I have  included a page that summarizes our daily routines. A second page details what needs to be managed for the “cleaning day” and during daily morning and afternoon chore times. I’ve also specified which children can be assigned which jobs.Yet another addendum describes the children’s homeschool assignments in greater detail. Sometimes I need this to help me to remain organized, although for the most part it’s all pretty routine. My older children are  able to check the binder if I or my husband are not available for immediate direction. I think it is also a good record to have on hand in case someone else is caring for the children and needs to know “what to do.”

Here’s a simplified version of our Daily “To-do’s”:

Morning:
(All children dress, brush hair, and neaten beds and rooms upon waking.)

• Daily: empty dish drainer and wash previous day’s supper dishes
• Daily: carpet sweep living room and hallway
• Daily: let the chickens out (this is coupled with another job, as it needs to be done but is not really a “chore”)
• Daily: set table for breakfast; change little one’s diaper/clothes if Mom hasn’t already done it
• Breakfast: older children may be asked to make oatmeal, cornmeal, or eggs
• Check dryer for “leftover” loads to fold and put away (this is unusual but happens occasionally)
• Older children check laundry baskets and bring full loads to the laundry room. Put in one load.

Afternoon:

• Daily: empty dish drainer and wash dishes from breakfast and/or lunch
• Daily: check carpets/floors (including kitchen) and carpet sweep/spot mop as needed
• Daily: Fold and put away laundry, as needed
• Midweek: Clean toilet and sink in main bathroom; scoop litter box and sweep floor
• Help with dinner preparation
• Clear and set table for supper
• Work on outdoor chores for Dad, if needed 
• Bedroom pick-ups

I work alongside the children during chore times attending to meal preparation, laundry, sheet-changing, or whatever else needs to be done. The above list acts as an outline for what often needs to be done during chore times, and is good to fall back on, but I often provide direction for other tasks that are a higher priority. By attending to these smaller chores during the week at regular times, we are able to keep the house in good order after the thorough weekly cleaning. 

Feel free to share your methods and systems for home management!

The “Why” and “How” of Putting Your Kids to Work

We are blessed to have kids who contribute in a very measurable way to the smooth functioning of our home. That’s important when you have a family as large as ours. We’re also blessed to see the generally great attitudes that our children have toward their daily jobs.

However, these things didn’t just “happen.” We, as parents, had to train and encourage our children in this area, just as in every other area of their growth and development.

Why put your children to work? Well, besides the fact that it’s helpful for the management of the home in the short-term, think of the long-term benefits. What are we raising our children to do? Well, hopefully, to WORK. As adults, that’s our lot in life! Yes, we want our children to enjoy their childhood, but we have to prepare them for wage-earning adulthood. That starts at a very early age as we encourage the children to learn new tasks and contribute to the cleanliness of the home. If you give your children an allowance or payment for chores, this allows them to learn money management skills early in life, as well.

Working together as a family, with each member doing his or her part, also brings a sense of comaraderie. While playing together has its place (and its merits), our work gives us a common goal that really promotes team-building.

How do you put your children to work–especially if you haven’t started at a young enough age when children are most receptive to this type of training? Well, just do it! Sounds simple, but let’s think about some of the things that may help with this.

You’ve probably heard the expression, “The apples don’t fall far from the tree.” It’s a well-known saying because it’s true! So if you want your children to work diligently and have good attitudes toward their work, first you have to look in the mirror. Dads, do you come home and complain about your boss or talk about incidents at work in a negative ligt? Moms, do you drag your feet about keeping up with the house, or make comments like, “All I ever do is clean up after everyone else!” Unfortunately, we most often see our weaknesses as parents manifested in our children, rather than our strengths–so think about what you’re saying and doing as you go about your work and be willing to make any changes that may be necessary if you want to encourage your children to make progress in this area.

Once that important step has been tended to, then you can get to the more practical implementation. First, TRAIN your children properly in how to do any of the chores you will assign to them. This is key to experiencing success in this area. How would you feel if you were asked to do something but were not given the tools you needed, or the necessary instruction to make sure you knew how to do it properly? It would certainly be frustrating. So, no matter how much of an effort it is, or how difficult it seems for you as a parent to invest the time in training–think of what a pay-off there will be once you do the initial work that is required!

Start small children on small jobs. As soon as they can play with toys, they are old enough to pick them up. Even before our children can walk, we will bring the toy basket over to them and encourage them to “clean up” and put the toys in the basket when they are done playing. When I change a toddler’s diaper, she can throw it in the garbage. When I get her dressed, she can put her dirty clothes in the laundry. As young as 18 months, our children are helping their older siblings to unload the dishwasher (we keep all our dishes in a low and easily-accessible cabinet so that this task is easily done by even the littlest ones!). When it’s time to get ready to go somewhere, they can bring their shoes to Mom to be put on. They can throw things in the garbage as others go about with housekeeping chores. Every toddler loves to walk around with a broom, imagining that she is “helping”–so capitalize on this early imitation to encourage a love of work. Even if it’s not particularly helpful at first, it’s still instilling a positive lesson in your growing children.

As children age, provide them with more challenging jobs. Try to mix it up a little so they’re not always doing the same things. Our four-year-old recently was going through a really “whiny” phase and we decided to try to encourage her to do more “big girl” things. She was quickly trained on cleaning the bathroom sink and toilet and in changing her little sister’s diaper. Doing these different tasks–ones normally done by her older siblings–really helped her to show a little more maturity.

Let’s face it, we don’t all enjoy our work all the time! So if your children balk at one job in particular, perhaps have a sibling help them so they can enjoy some conversation while the work is getting done. Or, allow siblings to trade jobs with one another (as long as they can properly agree on this!) I try to put on some uplifting music during morning chore time, as well. This is also a good time for you, as a parent, to praise sincere effort and encourage the children to “work as for the Lord,” (Colossians 3:22-24) to stay diligent and do their best work (Proverbs 10:4), and to praise God for…all the things that are praiseworthy (even if the job at hand isn’t!–see Philippians 4:8).

Our favorite rule at “job time” comes straight from 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV): “‘If a man will not work, he shall not eat'”–even our 2 year-old can quote this verse! We don’t eat breakfast (or snack, or dinner…whatever the next “meal” is) until everyone does their jobs. And when one child is done, he’s expected to go help a sibling to finish up their work (unless they’re not being diligent, of course–then they’re on their own, and the rest of us will eat without them. This doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen!)

What if the children complain? Well, personally–we try not to take it too personally. We all feel that way sometimes! But, it’s a good opportunity to encourage an attitude of praise. Remind them of what is praiseworthy. Remind them that you’re just doing your best as a parent to prepare them for a lifetime of work. Provide them with alternating periods of work and play or rest. A few minutes of relaxation on the couch, a read-aloud together, some free-play time, or just an enjoyable meal, can all be a reward for a job well done. Make sure to build blessings into the completion of work. Sometimes, when I see a child have a particularly good attitude toward his work, or if she is trying hard to do a thorough job, I’ll surprise them by offering them a little treat like a small candy or something. This goes a long way in encouraging children in their chores. But of course, words of praise are sometimes the best reward.

It’s important, too, that you are working along side of your children. Although you may not be doing the same job at the same time, if the children are doing chores, you should be busy, too, Mom! While sometimes I might want to use that time to tend to personal matters, it’s a good example to the children if we all engage in productive tasks together and work together to put our home in order. If the children complain about being asked to do something, I will gently point out what “I” am doing, and remind them that sometimes we all need to help each other. Usually they are quick to acknowledge this fact and are almost always willing helpers. On the other hand, what kind of example is it if I’m asking the children to do something simply for my convenience or because I’m too “lazy” to do it myself? Then they will feel “used,” and rightly so. It’s good for them to learn to serve, but they shouldn’t be made to be slaves! Chores that contribute to home management should be considered as “team-building” activities for the whole family.

You may find it helpful to post a family chore chart or other organizational tool so that everyone knows what they are expected to do each day. This really reduces stress for mom, particularly when there are lots of children in the house. It also may help to post a “clean room” checklist in a prominent location so that children can refer to the list to make sure they’ve done all the necessary steps for each task. When Mom does a “quality control check,” there are usually fewer things to correct if children have pre-emptive reminders in place. Visit our Web site at http://www.valuesdrivenfamily.com/ for free chore chart downloads and other practical tools for the family.

Please comment if you have anything that’s been particularly helpful in your home when it comes to the sometimes-challenging area of children and chores!