Training, Encouraging, Disciplining, and…the Holy Spirit

If you’re at all familiar with Values-Driven, some things should be obvious: we take very seriously our parental duties of training, encouraging, and disciplining our children. We also have a discipleship focus and desire to show them a lifestyle of loving and serving the Lord. We have proactive things that we “do” to support each of these aspects of biblical parenting, but we also are well aware of the necessity of bathing our efforts in prayer. In the past few days, we’ve had a couple of instances which have also reminded us of the blessing of seeing the Holy Spirit work–God doing His part as we do ours.

When it comes to disciplining our 5 year-old daughter, Marc and I often joke that she has an iron backside and a will to match. Everything she does is dramatic–including her repentance. Once there is breakthrough, her sorrow is heartfelt and genuine. The change in her behavior is instantaneous–the Holy Spirit has obviously been doing something. Those are the moments that make it all worth it.

The other day, I saw the Holy Spirit at work when we were unaware. On Saturday morning, our 10 year-old son *sighed* about coming in for family devotions because he was anxious to try out the new bow he’d gotten as an early Christmas present from his Uncle and Aunt. Marc reminded him that nothing should come between him and his relationship with the Lord and casually said, “If anything comes between you and God, maybe you should give it away.” The reminder helped him to adjust his focus and we carried on with Bible reading and prayer as usual.

Later in the afternoon, my 5 year-old daughter was helping me cook supper. While we stood at the stove, she confessed, “Before when you asked me to do some cleaning up in my room, Hannah [her sister] did it all because I was playing with my new doll set.” (Her magnetic “dress up” doll, also an early Christmas gift from another Aunt!). “And remember what Dad said about giving things away if they come between you and God? Well, I thought I liked my set too much. And I don’t think Bekah’s [her older sister] is as nice as mine. So I asked Bekah to trade sets with me so I wouldn’t disobey you when you asked me to do something.”

After thanking her for sharing her heart and encouraging her about her decision–reminding her how much that pleased God–I had to remind myself, she’s only 5! How long did it take me to arrive at a willingness to intentionally give up things that would distract me from loving and serving the Lord? And we, as parents, had really done nothing to prompt it; it was simply the work of the Holy Spirit. All I can do is praise God!

Likewise, our ten year-0ld son came to me yesterday morning after our family devotions and said, “I’d really like prayer. I want to get back to living moment-by-moment and I know I need God’s help.” This makes sense if you’ve read the free ebook we offer on our site, Keys to Kingdom Expansion. It talks about not living “day by day,” but rather, moment by moment, purposefully living each moment to please and glorify God with the choices we make–our thoughts, our words, and our actions. Our boy has taken this to heart, but obviously felt like he had been slipping of late and needed God’s grace and power to help him in this area. Again, this was an internal struggle of which we, as parents, had been relatively unaware. His behavior hadn’t reflected any significant change; he hadn’t been receiving any more correction than usual nor seemed “off” in any way. But the Holy Spirit had obviously been working in him to persevere in walking in a manner worthy of our Lord and Savior…so of course we prayed for his cooperation in that effort.

I don’t share these stories to say anything about our parenting–hopefully you can see that these stories of God’s work in our children’s lives and spiritual growth have very little to do with us and our efforts. Instead, I share this to encourage you to remember that as we work, God works. Don’t forget to pray for your children and ask God to work in your children’s hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to lead and guide them into all truth. Encourage your children to “do” what they can to cooperate with God, but also to listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit–through the Word, through other godly Christians, or through the “still small voice” inside of them. Remind them that it’s important to listen to the Holy Spirit and obey, so that the voice of God will get LOUDER and not be drowned out by the world or by the lusts of their flesh.

Likewise, as we disciple our children in this area, I pray that we all, as parents, would model this lifestyle of listening and obeying, so that we might all the more glorify God, moment by moment.

2 thoughts on “Training, Encouraging, Disciplining, and…the Holy Spirit

  1. Thank you for sharing this. My 10 y.o. son has been asking a lot more spiritual questions of late and the other day figured out how God speaks to us. It was awesome for him but also for me to hear! 😀

  2. I just found your website and I'm really enjoying it! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and knowledge of raising a family for God. These stories are amazing – it is great to see that children so young can listen and take direction from the Holy Spirit.

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