Author: valuesdr

Grumbling, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes

valuesdr

I don’t know about you, but all three of these (grumbling, complaining, and bad attitudes) are an occasional reality at our house.

While in America, we dealt with these issues much less than we do now in Africa. I recall a conversation I had not too long ago with my oldest son, in which he confessed that he had been struggling with his attitude–something he said he didn’t feel he had a problem with in America because we had so many distractions. For example, if the overtone of our home was negative, we might put some praise music on a CD while we did our morning work. Our daily chores were a regular part of our routine, but they had a definite beginning and end and we could look forward to some free time when we were done. We had NetFlix on-tap for both education and entertainment. If we were having a rough day, we could jump in the big red van for a trip to the museum or library. Even if we were stuck at home (though we tried to be wise and reasonable about our possessions), the children never lacked something to do.  All of these “distractions” have been removed since our arrival in Africa. Couple that with a marked increase in daily labor, and certainly, grumbling, complaining, and bad attitudes should be expected.

In spite of taking advantage of as many “teachable moments” as possible in an effort to encourage the children in a more positive direction, I admit to feeling occasionally discouraged about the lack of progress in this area. It seems that while one child might show some improvement, another falls off the wagon and there are constantly one or two (or more) among our brood who just don’t like the way things are, don’t want to do what they’re told, or can’t get along with someone else in the family. So I hear grumbling and complaining and see those bad attitudes.

But I must confess, I have not been immune to the temptation. Perhaps that’s why we have all struggled so much. I realized in conversation with Isaiah the other day just why I fall prey to grumbling every once in a while–and just like any other character deficiency or sin issue, it’s interesting how that root cause analysis really leads you to repentance. It’s not that the work bothers me or that I’m particularly overwhelmed. Though that is sometimes the case, it’s more often that I fall victim to what I’ve heard called the “Mommy Martyr” syndrome. I feel that I work harder, serve more, and benefit less than most other people in the household. And it just wouldn’t be fair if they didn’t know it. So I sigh while I wash that second sink full of dishes. I mutter under my breath about how if the girls didn’t keep throwing clean clothes on their dusty concrete bedroom floor, I wouldn’t be forced to wash them a second time even though they hadn’t even been worn. I sit the children down for a  lecture about how it would be nice if they could notice how I’m doing jobs they normally do, just so they can enjoy a break–and wouldn’t it be nice if, just for once, someone offered to help?

Why? Because I want someone to notice my efforts. Occasionally, some unsolicited help would be nice. Even better, an encouraging word would be so appreciated, given how hard I labor on their behalf. I want that proverbial “pat on the back.” And while it is true that we should encourage and help one another, there is a not-so- fine line between appreciating a positive response to our service and trying to force it upon those around you by making them feel guilty. As I said to Isaiah, cheerful service (“as unto the Lord”) brings us a reward from God, but in seeking praise from men, we have already received our reward in full (see Matthew 6).

I don’t think that all of my grumbling, complaining, and bad attitudes can be attributed to selfish manipulation or a desire for attention. However, when it is, I want to to repent and learn to seek my rest and reward from God. Just one more issue where I’m thankful for God’s grace and in which I want to press on to perfection.

 

25 Cents or Less, in Kenya

valuesdr

Some things here in Africa are about the same price USD as KSH (Kenya Shilling), and occasionally more expensive–mzungu-style or specialty items in particular. A dozen eggs is about the same price US as Kenya, and we had a homemade lasagna the other night to celebrate Rebekah’s 10th birthday–the cottage cheese and lasagna noodles (both a rarity here) made it about a $40 meal. Not something we would usually do, but lasagna was a special request of the birthday girl.

For the most part, however, things are markedly cheaper here than in America. For example, I remember getting name-brand Front Line in America for over $50 from the vet; here, Marc *finally* found some available in town and I think it cost about $13.  It still amazes me how much cheaper most things are here than in the US. For sure, you often get what you pay for (as our friend Silas has said, “Africans no care about quality, they care about price!”); however, in many cases the quality issues don’t have much overall impact.

The boys do much of our shopping and they had just returned from town today as I was preparing lunch. While we ate, they had fun listing all the things you can buy in Africa for 20 shillings (about 25 cents USD):

4 avocados, in-season

1 orange

2 pens

a 60-page notebook

5-1/2 minutes of air time on a cell phone

16 MB of data on Internet

2 chapati (kind of like small, non-sweet donuts)

a small flashlight (disposable)

a small loaf of bread (1/2 a conventional loaf)

4 packages of biscuits (cookies–a package is four or five)

4 packets of laundry detergent (each packet is for one washtub of laundry and contains 25 grams–almost an ounce)

2 cell phone charges (most here don’t have electricity, so paying to charge a cell phone is normal)

about 6 photocopies

4 lollipops

20 pieces of gum or 20 hard candies

 

Which made me think…what can you *really* buy in America for 25 cents? I think gumballs are still 25 cents. What else?

The Lord Knows What we Need

valuesdr

For quite a while now, we’ve felt like we really needed to get away as a family. Sometimes living here as the only wazungu in town is like living in a fish bowl.  Just a quick illustration:

In discussing the issue of being home-bound yet again with Marc, suddenly he had an idea. Silas owns a large shamba—several acres of farm, field, and trees bordering a river—not too far from our house. He wondered, why couldn’t we go there, spend a few hours and enjoy a picnic lunch? Silas was agreeable to our going and we decided, to everyone’s excitement, to try out a trip there are a family. I was certain that this would help fill in the gaps in terms of what the children felt they had been missing, and I was thankful for the opportunity for some fun family time. Truth be told, the daily grind and Marc’s busy schedule sometimes leave me wishing for a bit of a “Sabbath rest” for all of us, and I hoped this would be it.

We had fun just getting there. It wasn’t “too far,” but a bit of a stretch for lots of little legs to walk comfortably. Isaiah stayed at home with several of the children while Marc, Micah, Jubilee, and I (with Enoch in the Ergo) zipped down to Silas’s on the motorbike. Marc went back for the girls while Isaiah and Jonah rode down on their little Suzuki dirt bike. Of course we had to greet Silas’s mother (who in Kenyan culture is just called “Mama Silas”). She spoke not a word of English but was happy to welcome us to her shamba.

Silas showed us around and, to my disappointment, the river at the back of the property turned out to be at the bottom of about a 10-foot drop-off. Instead of letting the kids leisurely explore as I imagined they would, I nervously kept a grip on Enoch and watched the littles to make sure they didn’t wander too close to the banks. The overgrown fields were fun to explore for a while, but there weren’t as many good climbing trees as the boys thought—those were closer to the house, so back we trekked.

Unfortunately, by the time we made it to the house again, an entourage of about 30 children was watching us like hawks and trying to meet up with us at various points. It seemed there was no  “getting away.” And once we got back, Silas unexpectedly told Marc that he had been committed to sharing about the Gospel of the Kingdom at a “Christianized” circumcision ceremony at the house of his neighbor. It was expected that he would stay to eat, but simultaneously Silas’s Mom was also preparing lunch—pulling out all the stops and sending someone to get what was, for them, very expensive fish because she knew the wazungu liked it. By now the children were eager to go home, the morning not turning out to be what they thought, but there was no way we could offend Mama Silas. It seemed we were in a “lose-lose” situation. Ultimately, our fun family day ended up with Marc going next door (for as short a time as possible) and the rest of us hanging out much longer than planned at Silas’s. We ate a lunch of fish which, while tasty, was certainly not accommodating to our mzungu sensibilities. (Whole fish, having been dried and left in the sun at the market, often ends up with maggots in it, and we found some floating in the fish broth. Not to mention, the experience of eating fish whole was not quite appetizing.) We were thankful for the hospitality and were truly blessed that Mama Silas wanted to give us her very best; however, we were also glad to return home after an unexpectedly…interesting morning.

 

So you can see, we were all out of ideas when it came to what to do to enjoy some time together as a family.

I don’t want to make a long story longer, so I’ll spare you to details of how our family was connected with a group of Mennonite missionary families here in Kisumu–but of course, it was a “God thing.”

Much to our delight, we were invited to their compound for a few days following Christmas. They said we could stay in a guest house there, be well-fed, and have transportation at our disposal to visit the local museum and zoo. After a long but uneventful ride in a semi-private matatu we were warmly welcomed, fed lunch, and enjoyed the company. There were lots of children for our kids to play with and the adult fellowship was a true blessing to me. I don’t think I had realized how much I missed it.

During our first full day we visited both the museum and zoo, so the second day was spent just enjoying the company of several of the families and relaxing. I even got to do two loads of laundry in a washing machine! Needless to say, I felt incredibly spoiled and it was so nice to get a break from that day-in-day-out manual labor. I was equally blessed that they made sure we ate well for every meal—a much greater variety of food than what we have available in our village and even in the next big town. Not to mention, refrigeration meant an opportunity to have cold smoothies and homemade granola with cold milk! It’s amazing how much you take those little things for granted—and what a blessing it was to enjoy for the short time we were there. Most of all, we were blessed by the obvious love of all of these Kingdom Christians and their willing generosity.

Here we are in Kisumu–a rare photo of the whole family, in which *almost* everyone is looking cheerfully at the camera–and only three takes, I think:

(I’m sure you can’t help but notice Micah’s new haircut in the photo. When Silas told us that “Africans no care about quality, they care about price,” he wasn’t kidding. We bought a set of clippers here and I decided to cut Micah’s hair. He likes it short, so opted for a “1,” which has always been super cute on him. Much to my horror, the comb fell off the razor as I was buzzing by his ear, so he was shaved almost to the scalp in a split second. Convinced that I could somehow rescue it, I put the comb back on and continued, only to have it happen again. So, Micah got totally buzz-cut but he had a super attitude about it, praise God!) Now, for the conclusion of our story…..

I came away truly refreshed from our mini-vacation, the burden of discouragement which I had been feeling at that time greatly lifted. The family was likewise encouraged, and we returned to home and “normal” with a renewed sense of God’s grace and goodness (in spite of another round of illness that hit us almost immediately upon our return!) I share this not simply to relate our experience, but to encourage you to consider how you might spur someone around you on to love and good deeds (see Hebrews 10:24)—even if, to you, what you offer seems small.

We are thankful, and God is good.

 

Kids, Animals, and Bananas

valuesdr
Enoch and Slightly Unwilling Friend
Mama and Babies

We’ve officially hatched our first set of chicks–they are VERY cute, and we have another set due in just about 5 days. Enoch (who continues to be fascinated by all our critters, especially the bunnies because they are easy to catch) had great interest in the chicks at first. Then he met the pecking end of an unhappy Mama and decided to leave them alone (for the most part). Instead of actively chasing them, he has learned instead to follow Mama while her back is turned and try to do “Nice” (i.e., pet the chicks). But as soon as she catches on and turns around, he runs! Smart kid.

As of this weekend, we’ve also welcomed a new puppy to the family. Don’t know how old he is for sure, but he’s not little and not big. His name is Simba, and he looks like a cross between a German Shepherd and a Yellow Lab. He has integrated into our family surprisingly well. He was a little skittish his first day but now is learning to come when called and already barks when people come into the yard. Isaiah has taken charge of dog training and baked up some dog treats to use as rewards. Unfortunately, we had to make another batch in not too much time because everyone decided that they made really good snacks! (It’s not as gross as you might think. They’re just corn meal, wheat flour, beef broth, egg, and salt–a tasty cracker substitute.)

Spoiled "mzungu" dog. You'll never catch an African dog sleeping on a chair!
Can't wait to eat these!

We’re all excited also for our first harvest of bananas. There are two varieties here: sweet and starchy. The sweet bananas are what you’d expect (smaller than what you’d get in a US grocery–kind of like the ones they try to sell you for a higher price because they’re so small that they must be “gourmet” or something). The starchy bananas are eaten while still green  and they’re boiled and mashed or cut and fried. Of course we prefer the sweet variety but we have both in our back yard. It’s been interesting watching the baby bananas form–not what we expected. The flower is HUGE and the bananas literally unfold row by row and eventually the flower falls off.

And, totally unrelated to the “new developments” featured in this post, here’s a photo of Enoch “helping” Rebekah do laundry this morning.

Happy and Cute!

Thanksgiving

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I hadn’t made any big plans for Thanksgiving (in spite of its being all over Facebook) because, you know, Thanksgiving is an American holiday and we’re not in America any more. Not to mention, a turkey is totally unheard of here.

However, last night Marc finally figured out that today, everyone in America would be celebrating–giving thanks to God AND enjoying a feast as well. He determined that we needed to keep some vestige of American tradition and announced that he would go into town this morning (Thanksgiving day) to gather supplies for an evening meal. Chicken and mashed potatoes seemed the next best thing to turkey, but the boys weren’t too excited about the prospect of slaughtering our celebratory dinner. And all the kids piped in with their opinion: if we were going to splurge on a meal, it might as well be pizza. Nothing beats pizza! Marc suggested seeing if our neighbors had a duck they wanted to sell, but that was quickly shot down and a second vote taken for pizza.

The two adults conferred and agreed that bacon cheeseburgers were a reasonable alternative to turkey, but the children unanimously overrode our suggestion once again with pizza. So it was decided that today, we shall give thanks and celebrate, with bacon cheeseburgers and french fries for the adults and pizza for the children. (Though the adults will probably have to at least *try* the pizza. It’s a rare treat!)

So today, Marc and Deborah are off on the motorbike to town. I hope the market has cheese! (Sometimes they don’t.) We are thankful for how God has been working in our lives and in our community. We’re thankful to be feeling more at home here. And certainly we are thankful that we will be eating cheeseburgers and pizza, while many of our neighbors only enjoy meat once a year and sometimes don’t have their daily ugali. Count your blessings, and pray for those who aren’t feeling so thankful today. See how you can reach out and touch someone else’s life. Be blessed today!

Finally Feeling at Home

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I just realized that tomorrow marks our 9-month anniversary of being in Kenya. Perhaps it’s just the passage of time, but for the past couple of weeks I’ve finally felt at home here. When I walk out the back door, the landscape doesn’t strike me as being quite so foreign. I’m familiar with most of the kids who hang around the front gate, and if I’m not I know how to politely chase them away. I have a better idea about we can and can’t acquire at the local markets and how much things should cost. After spending our first few months feeling like all we did was work, work, work (and lucky to get language arts and math done each day), we’re more at ease with our daily tasks and everybody pitches in fairly well to get done what needs doing. Our schooling is, as a result, a little more in-depth, which is good.

Last but not least, Marc has spent more time at home these last few weeks and I feel like we’ve finally been able to relax a bit and just enjoy each other. Yahtzee is our new favorite family game. The girls and I had some free time to make a paper “picnic playset,” the kids and I did some coloring and played with clay, and I’ve been able to actually sit down and read  stories with my little ones. Oddly enough, it’s been reading aloud to the littles that I’ve missed the most during these busy nine months. I feel like I’m finally able to catch my breath.

So that’s it…no big lessons or lofty exhortations from this blog post. Just thankfulness. 🙂 I pray that you will embrace all the little moments that you have with your family and appreciate wherever you are in your journey.

Walking Wounded

valuesdr

I recently posted this as a guest At the Well, but wanted to include it here as well:

 

I’ve had many moments as a Mom where I’ve felt like one of the “walking wounded.” Not  just physically, of course, but emotionally or spiritually as well. At those times, I find myself struggling; either trying to find peace in a particular situation or learn something through a personal trial, or deal with pain. And in spite of where I’m at personally, I sometimes have to pretend that everything is fine and carry on with the day-to-day “stuff” of family life. There are others who may be in worse shape than me and other demands that need to be met.

My issues, whatever they may be, need to be put on the back burner as I continue to encourage discouraged children, mediate conflicts, capture “teachable moments,” and take time to invest in relationships with my children (not to mention the necessity of keeping up with various tasks around the home, which is also time-consuming). The fact that I have little opportunity to sit around feeling sorry for myself sometimes makes me feel sorry for myself! This is an occasional reality for most Moms, I would guess.

Yet our spiritual and emotional growth and health is vital in making us available for others. As my husband so often says, “You can’t take someone else where you haven’t been yourself.” I can teach my children with words all about forgiveness, but if I’m harboring bitterness, I’m just a hypocrite. Jesus said so:

And He also spoke a parable to them: “A blind man cannot guide a blind man, can he? Will they not both fall into a pit? A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

(Luke 6:39-42)

The same is true with things like love; if I’m encouraging my children to be kind to one another but am quick to criticize or judge, what have they learned?

Sometimes this puts an incredible amount of pressure on me as a Mom. I know the importance of my example, but when I’m struggling and don’t have the time I feel I need to work things out, feelings of failure are inevitable. And the discouragement of that just adds insult to injury. What’s a Mom to do?

Be real.

Tell your kids you’re having a hard time. Ask for prayer. Buy takeout instead of cooking from scratch if you need to. Take a day off from homeschooling and watch movies or play board games. When you mess up, ‘fess up…confess, repent, and move on. Let your children see in you an example of the humility of following after Christ. They can learn just as much from your imperfection as from your shining example. We all struggle. We are all works in progress, and if we try to pretend otherwise, we do ourselves and our children a great disservice.

I’ve found great help in a little tool called the Spiritual Inventory. When prayed through regularly, it has slowly but surely brought freedom in many areas of my life. And when progress is slow and I feel like the walking wounded, God comforts me. I am particularly encouraged by passages like Isaiah 40:11: “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young” (emphasis mine).

Do you feel like the “walking wounded” today? How can I pray for you?

New Additions and Random Thoughts on Baby Talk

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Things have been quiet here lately (relatively speaking). Marc has been home for the past couple of weeks and that has allowed him needed time to invest in his local disciples. He’s also been able to do some work around the yard, including fencing in with chicken wire for some rabbits and chickens and making proper housing for each. The children are thrilled with the new additions! Feels more like home and brings back good memories.

Here are just a few of the new additions–the one gray rabbit is Peter, and he’s officially the “pet,” though the others will eventually end up in the pot. 🙂

With the difficulty of getting eggs in quantity, I was especially pleased that we acquired  twelve chickens (though only 8 are hens and quite a few of them still young). Within a few days we started getting two eggs a day–yay!! But our neighbor insisted that one of the hens we had gotten from him would go broody if we let them collect, and he assured us that increasing our flock was a good thing. Marc agreed, and so…we’re still buying eggs, a few here and a few there, as we wait to see if Mama Hen will, indeed, step up.

Enoch (at almost 18 months now!) keeps us all smiling, although as Marc said the other day, “He’s one-foot-three with a five-foot attitude.” Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. As we say, he is rather “vertically challenged.” Here’s a recent photo of Enoch reading with Jubilee:

I remember Isaiah at this age–talking a blue streak such that I was able to have adult-like conversations with him. At the time, I thought that was normal. By the time we got to number 5 (who was rather slow to talk), I remember asking the pediatrician about his lack of verbalization. He assured me that by 18 months, most children only have about six words in their vocabulary. I was rather surprised but could actually count six words that Micah was able to say. Enoch also seems rather non-verbal, though he certainly makes himself known and his intentions clear. Here are his words (you can see he favors the “N” sound!):

Nigh-Nigh (when it’s sleepy time)

No-No (you can guess he hears this a lot!)

Nose

Nice (He was so mean to the cats that we’ve trained him a bit on how to pet them “nice” and he’s actually getting it!)

Dada

Mama

Bye (when Daddy leaves on the motor bike…accompanied by “vvvvvvvvvvvvvv,” since he loves the vroom-vroom!)

Dit! (When the chickens come in the house, I say, “Git!” and chase them out. Very cute to see little Enoch chase a chicken, waving his fat little fist at it, boldly declaring that it should, “DIT!”)

Wow, just shy of 18 months and…eight words!

“It Didn’t Seem Like You Love Me”

valuesdr

In our last e-newsletter, I talked about how I’m re-grouping in my parenting, and some of the things I’m focusing on. One of the main things is LOVE. I mentioned briefly how important it is to express love in a way that it is received–maybe you’re familiar with the “five love languages” as an example of that. So that’s by way of preface to something that happened over this weekend…

I’ve been asked to once again take up the habit of writing back and forth to some of the children in dedicated notebooks–a practice we all enjoyed in the states but that hasn’t carried over into Africa, unfortunately, since things have been rather busy. This past week has been a joy of re-connecting in a new way with several of my children. And then, two of my girls decided that they were going to start writing to each other. They’ve been scribbling notes to one another, mostly talking about the games they will play or drawing sweet pictures of them hugging each other. I stumbled upon the notebook on Saturday and sat perusing it, smiling. Then, my smile faded when I read this exchange:

…”Can we love each other, please?”…

“Of course I love you! You are my sister.”

“It didn’t seem like you love me.”

It filled me with sadness to have one of my children feel…unloved. The frustrating part is that she is loved, and she just doesn’t feel like she is. How often does that happen with various family members, during the different seasons of life that we struggle through? With my girls’ permission, I shared what they wrote with the family during our evening devotional time and just encouraged them all to keep on loving one another. It’s as simple as this:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

And this:

“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you” (Matthew 7:12)

“You Don’t Struggle”

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In talking to a sister in the Lord here at our home over this past weekend, she made a rather off-hand comment that I’m still thinking about. Though she didn’t explicitly say so, she was comparing her life to mine, and she said, “We African women, we are used to struggling. You, you don’t struggle.” And she looked around our home and shrugged, as if she didn’t want to continue. She was comparing my physical circumstances to hers, and I could agree that (in the sense that she meant it), I don’t struggle. I am able to live at home with my husband. I have the luxury of homeschooling my children. We put food on the table for three meals every day (and it’s not just ugali). When I had a first degree burn on one thumb, and then a bandaged thumb due to lancing an abcess, we could afford to pay someone to help out with daily laundry for a few weeks. I don’t *have to* work outside the home to meet our family’s necessities. I could say a lot more, but it’s pretty obvious that I don’t struggle.

But I do…I struggle against sin. I struggle to grow in faith through circumstances that I perceive as “suffering,” in various senses of the word. I don’t equate my “suffering” with this sister’s–but does that mean that I don’t struggle? The Lord allows us all to experience trials of various kinds. What is a trial for me would be a life of ease to this sister, surely; but that is no grounds for spiritual judgment. I think that this sister’s motives were pure, and I didn’t get any sense of spiritual judgment from her–but of we’re honest, I think we’ve all been quick to jump to unfair conclusions in regard to others at some point in our lives.

It’s easy to compare…but if my sister compared her life to those who in the past (or currently) suffer imprisonment, torture, and even martyr’s death, it would be equally easy for those on the the other side of the equation to say that she “doesn’t struggle.” Perspective, indeed.

I mentioned this comment to Marc after our conversation, and he was quick to concur that (in the sense she meant it), I indeed don’t “struggle.” He compared it to us trying to deal with our children’s little difficulties (like hating math, not wanting to do a half-hour chore, or what have you) when of course if they were in the adult world dealing with “real” problems, they would realize how petty those trials really are. But even if we were to encourage them to play the comparison game to gain some perspective (“gee, son, guess what fun you’ll have when you get to be an adult!”), would it really make them not “struggle?” And does it actually make their trials any less difficult when they’re going through the process? Maybe yes, and maybe no. Depends how you present it, I guess. But each person’s trial is a trial, indeed, to that person. And God uses those trials to shape and refine us, to show us the genuineness of our faith. What is difficult for one may not be for another…but “to his own master he stands or falls” (Romans 14:4). God knows the heart of each man, and that is what He is concerned with in allowing various trials into our lives.  So let’s not be quick to judge one another, but rather encourage one another to persevere and honor God in spite of our present “sufferings” (be they large or small). And let us personally press on in times of trial to find what is good and strengthen ourselves for God’s glory, rejoicing in the Lord.

Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. 3 For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries. In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may live in the spirit according to the will ofGod.

 The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

(1 Peter 4:1-8)

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
Nor faint when you are reproved by Him;
 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,
And He scourges every son whom He receives.” (Hebrews 12:3-6)