Works for me Wednesday: Favorite Places to Shop

Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer, host(ess?) of “Works for me Wednesday,” pointed out that she prefers online shopping (because it’s “so much easier than trying to wrangle my gaggle of children in a store!”). Amen to that! I can’t remember the last time I shopped in a store, except for staples like groceries.

As a homeschooling mom, I find myself always looking for educational bargains. As a Christian, I enjoy finding spiritually uplifting resources at a good price. So most all of my links will relate to these two areas.

For personal shopping (which is rare), I browse the cut-throat clearance deals at Christian Book Distributors. They’re online at http://www.christianbook.com/.

For good Christian reading material (for myself or, especially, for the children) I LOVE the selection of books at Grace and Truth: http://www.graceandtruthbooks.com/. I have a long wish-list of things there that are just waiting for the money to catch up with them. 🙂 Their tagline is “Character-Building Books for the Family;” that’s right up our alley.

For homeschool stuff, I love to pop in once in a while at American Educational Products (www.amep.com). I’ve never bought anything there for full price, but they have great clearance deals! (“Surplus Products at Blow-out Prices,” they say.)

Another good homeschool place is The Old Schoolhouse Store–always free shipping, yeah!! They have some of the best prices around and a good selection. http://www.theoldschoolhousestore.com.

Finally, Queen Homeschool Supply specializes in products for “the Charlotte Mason-style educator.” Although I don’t consider us “Charlotte-Mason style educators” (we’re more ECLECTIC, if you insist on labels!), this is a good source of materials at decent prices. http://www.queenhomeschool.com.

Works for me Wednesday: Enjoying my Kids

Wow, it’s been two weeks since our last post–sorry for the lack of updates! My sister was visiting for a while, and we had such a nice time…but some things (like the blog) got neglected due to the priority of having some good ‘ol “family time.”
So here it is, another edition of “Works for me Wednesday.” (By the way, be sure to visit Rocks in my Dryer for other great tips.) I know that WFMW is usually practical, do-able stuff, but today I’ve got some ideas kicking around that are a little more foundational…philosophical…or whatever you want to call it.
While my sister was here, one of my kids made a comment at the table to the effect of, “You always love us, but you don’t always like us.” I vaguely remembered having a discussion with him to that effect in recent weeks. Ever been there? We love our children to death, don’t we? But sometimes we get overwhelmed, discouraged, or just plain disgusted.
God has worked on me a lot in this area over time. (In fact, see another related post.) I’ve determined to enjoy my children more, and there are a few things that have “worked for me” in this area. So, though not particularly practical, here are my thoughts:

It all starts in the mind.
I think if we want to enjoy our children more, we need to practice having an attitude of praise. Remember how, when the foundation for the temple was rebuilt, the younger generation rejoiced at the completion of the project, but the older generation grumbled because they remembered the former glory? (See Ezra 3:11-13). So don’t think about what the kids didn’t do or how you wanted them to behave; instead, focus on what went right, what was good, and how they (and you!) have made progress in areas of weakness. Maintain a positive perspective.
Reading my grandfather’s autobiography has been enlightening for me. He grew up in Oklahoma during the Great Depression, served in the Army during WWII, and was a prisoner of war of the Japanese for 3-1/2 years. It’s obvious in reading his story that the latter half of his life (post-war) was constantly viewed in light of these experiences. It was impossible for my grandfather to complain about his family, his job, or what others might perceive as hardship in comparison to what he had already suffered. Likewise, after seeing so much death and destruction, he was thankful enough to have survived. While we don’t want to get into lots of “what ifs” or let our minds wander too much, suffice it to say we need to be thankful for where we’re at and what we have. Recent news of economic uncertainty (some articles even putting our nation’s status on par with the Great Depression) has certainly caused me to be grateful for our current provision and abundance. Count your blessings!
What normally causes me to grumble or complain, losing focus on what really matters? Usually it’s an overwhelming “to-do” list or those everyday emergencies that I have trouble suddenly juggling. Then, it seems, my patience is automatically tried and I don’t respond correctly to my children. This creates an overall downward spiral in the home and family atmosphere. So what helps here? Generally, I’ve been trying to overlook “the moment” and focus on what is of eternal significance. I ask myself, “If this doesn’t work out as I’d like, will it matter tomorrow…next week…or next year?” “What is more important in the long-term: my child finishing this school assignment, or taking the time to positively disciple my child through an attitude problem?” “What has happened today that has been of eternal value?” Focus on the eternal, not the here-and-now.
Attitude Effects Actions
Even though it all starts in the mind, enjoying your kids means that your actions will be effected. We can do and do and do some more to serve our families, but we need to remember that it’s relationship first. So even though you want to get the bathroom cleaned and homeschooling done and file your tax return, you still need to give your undivided attention to the children when they want to show you a project, or when they ask you a question, or when there’s a disciplinary issue to deal with. Make sure you take even a few minutes to participate in their play, read a story, or put on some music and dance. At the very least, smile more! “Be there” for your children.
Finally, allow your “eternal perspective” to set your priorities. Does it matter if the laundry pile sits there for one more day? Do you have to cook a three-course meal for family dinner, or will a casserole of leftovers do? Is it a really big deal if your third-grader does two pages or three in his workbook? Granted, you can’t reasonably neglect any one area of life, whether it be home management, ministry, work, or homeschooling. However, if you’re thinking long-term, some of those things will really obviously not matter much in the short-term. Do what matters most, first!
These are just a few of the things that have worked for me in helping us all to enjoy each other more as a family. Hope something here will encourage you!

Works for Me Wednesday: Reluctant Reader

I was talking with a friend from church a while back, about our “reluctant readers.” We were sympathizing with each other about our second-born children, who were struggling in the area of reading. The cause, for them, is not that they “can’t” read, but that reading is not yet a habit and they have not yet experienced the benefits of it.
Both of these children have older siblings who read fluently, learn readily by reading more advanced material, and are excited about reading. Our second-borns, however, will read during “school time,” but otherwise don’t want to invest much effort.
On the one hand, they tend to compare themselves to their older siblings and feel as though they are reading “baby” books (easy readers) in comparison to what their siblings are doing. On the other hand, because they don’t pursue reading independently, they don’t experience the “success” that would intrinsically motivate them to continue reading at higher levels. It’s a catch-22–at least in our cases.
Whether you have a “reluctant reader” because of his/her birth order, or just because, I thought I would share a couple of things that have worked for me in this area.
One thing I did to combat the “comparison” syndrome (which is part of what discourages my second-born from reading on his own) was to get my two oldest boys each a similar “bag of books” for Christmas. I found some excellent Book Packs of leveled readers from DK Eyewitness that fit my objectives perfectly. Each boy got a set of readers, which although different reading levels, looked alike enough that my second-born didn’t think he got “baby readers.” (Frankly, I think it was intriguing enough just to get brand-spanking-new books in a ZIPPERED CASE!) The pictures in both sets are great, and my sons also loved the topics–one, an animal lover, got the animal series, and the other got a history set–he loves facts and information! The 10 readers also came with a couple of activity pages and a checklist with star stickers so that the child can “star” each book as he reads it.
Now with homeschooling multiple children and juggling older children with younger, I guess I’ve forgotten how much young ones LOVE stickers! DS #2 was thrilled with the star stickers and checklist in this set! Right away he set everything out on his desk and asked to read in bed for several nights in a row. And he dutifully “starred” each checkbox as the books were finished. I was almost dismayed that I had gotten out of the habit of reinforcing good work with such a simple thing as a sticker!

I have now made up a template in MS Word that will allow me to list titles of books (or other school assignments), with space to put a sticker upon their successful completion. If you’d like a copy, just email me via the “contact” form in the side bar and request the “WFMW chart” in the comments section. Note that you’ll automatically receive future editions of our “Values-Driven” newsletter, unless you check the opt-out box.

Another thing we’ve done is to ask DS#2 to spend time reading aloud to Dad after “lights-out.” Not every night, but we try for at least 2 or 3 per week. First of all, he loves being permitted to stay up later than the other kids. Secondly, the time with Dad is generally coveted all around. All of the kids just “glow” with praise from their Daddy! It’s different when it comes from me, because I’m with them everyday, all the time–and I’m the teacher! Dad is different. I can’t explain it, I just know it’s true. So he regularly picks one of his leveled readers and snuggles on the couch to read a book to Dad. If this option doesn’t work for you, is there another person to whom your child could read aloud–a grandparent or aunt, perhaps?
With these two things done together in a short space of time, I can see a marked improvement just in the past couple of weeks since Christmas. Not only is he reading aloud with less hesitation over pronunciation, etc., but he is more likely to pick up a book and actually “read” on his own–or at least try, even if it is a more advanced-level text. That definitely works for me!

Make sure to visit Rocks in my Dryer for more great tips every Wednesday!

Works for Me Wednesday: Children and Chores

OK, we all know that it’s important to get our kids to help with household tasks. It’s great for character development, helps to prepare them for “real life,” and it keeps you (Mom) from going crazy trying to do it all yourself.

Training in this area is important, and that’s a whole other subject. However, there are also some practical things I’ve implemented that Work for Me in the area of “children and chores.”

One of the most basic things that children can be trained to do is put dishes away. My 18 month-old is currently helping her three year-old sister to unload the dishwasher during job time. This was next-to-impossible for my oldest son to do when he was this age. Why? Because, like many of you, I thought the dishes had to go in the uppler level of cabinets. That’s where everyone keeps them, right? And little ones can’t reach up there! So what has worked for me is to put all of our dishes in a lower (floor-level) cabinet instead. Yes, it’s a bit awkward for us adults to bend down there to get a plate when needed, BUT, it enables the littlest ones to put dishes away (easily and safely)–not to mention set the table at meal time! (Note: I still keep glassware in the upper cabinet; the kids just put the glassware on the table or leave it in the dishwasher and I put those away myself!)

Do you have toddlers who always want to “help” but aren’t really much help at all just yet? They just seem to wander around the house making trouble with everyone else’s cleaning job, don’t they?! Often during our daily task time, I’ll give my toddler a broom and a dustpan and ask her to sweep different areas of the floor. She doesn’t really “do” anything, but she feels important and helpful (and she stays out of trouble, which is the idea!). At other times, I’ll dampen a dishcloth and ask her to clean the table top or dining room chairs. If I show her how to do it and make a big deal out of her efforts, she’ll usually keep going on her own for quite a while. Or, try filling a spray bottle with plain water; give her the spray bottle and a washcloth and have her spray and wipe different surfaces (even the floor) to “clean” them.

I also make up “checklists” so that the children know what steps need to be completed for a given job. I often include line drawings or clip art so even my pre-readers can see what needs to be done. I’ve posted such lists on the washing machine to coach the kids through putting their own laundry in (I took actual digital photos of the process for this one!). I also made a “clean bathroom” list, and have another list posted in the barn so they remember to check the food and water, etc., for all the outdoor animals. It’s amazing how helpful this can be. My husband is a project manager, and he constantly reminds me that one of the most basic principles of successful project management is to “write it down!”

These are just a few of the things that “work for me” in helping my children to be more helpful around the house. Feel free to share your ideas by commenting! And don’t forget to visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer for more “Works for Me Wednesday” tips!

Works For Me Wednesday: A Different Day for Christmas

I’ve been wanting to take part in the “Works for Me Wednesday” blog carnival hosted by Shannon over at Rocks in my Dryer. The practicality of it makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately, I’ve been slow to jump in and have just decided to do it today! Of course, while I have lots of neat ideas, I discovered that there’s been an impromptu “Christmasy” theme announced. So I’ll try to comply.

What have I done to de-stress Christmas? First, I’ll have to tell you what “stresses” me, and then go from there. The biggest thing we struggle with is over-indulgence. It could be over-indulgence of food, sensory overload, trying to fit too much into the schedule, or (for the children) too many presents, too fast!

There are a couple of reasons why the gifting frenzy bothers me. First, in a season where we as Christians are claiming to celebrate Christ’s birth, we’re too easily drawn into focusing on ourselves and what we’re getting, rather than what we’re giving (and what we’ve already been given–the gift of Jesus!) Not that there’s much we can do about that–we (as parents) want to bless our children, as do all of our family members. That’s a good thing! But when we go from one party to the next and open gift after gift after gift, it’s easy to lose that spirit of thankfulness that God would want us to have. I’m sure I’m not the only parent to notice this.

So what works for me? Well, this year we tried celebrating Christmas in November. Jenna from “Choosing Home” commented that she’s considered celebrating Christmas in January for their family! Although it’d be too late for the rest of y’all to celebrate “Christmas in November,” maybe you could space out your celebrations and set some special time aside for your nuclear family to enjoy and appreciate one another and focus on the best blessing–Jesus Christ. Maybe it won’t be until after the new year–but does it really matter? We’re finding that even though we’ve done our “family” Christmas early, there’s still plenty of presents under the tree for the children to open on Christmas day. And having cut back on the amount that they’ll be opening all-at-once, hopefully they will be able to enjoy their gifts that much more, and be more thankful for each one and for each person who gave them.