Change is the only thing in life that is constant. If we are to successfully manage our homes and families, we must respond to the changes. Our goals and the decisions we make and the methods we apply to reach those goals are all dynamic. We, as managers, need to respect this fact of life and apply wise methods of identifying problems, developing solutions, and implementing solutions such that our long term objectives are not jeopardized by the ebb and flow of change in our lives.

In this blog, I want to discuss change management. If it sounds like I am talking “project management” talk, it’s because I am a project manager. And you know what?: you are too! Home management and parenting are both project management at its finest.

The other day Cindy and I were wrapping up our budget for the month. That’s when we input the final straggling receipts and see how everything measures up. We balanced for the month perfectly—and were very pleased. However, I noticed a few “red” categories—a couple that were WAY off. We had overspent on gasoline by $164 for the month. We also overspent on groceries and utilities.

Immediately I pulled down the graphs for each of these categories and saw that we were indeed over-budget—and consistently so for the past several months. The conclusion: our budget estimates and the allotted amounts for these categories were insufficient. So, I adjusted the categories up a bit and lowered some other discretionary categories to make the budget balance again. For those of you who use the free budget tool, I suggest you use the graphs to monitor trends and make adjustments accordingly as well. In this way, you can manage your spending with accuracy and confidence. If you don’t use the tool, I suggest you get a copy—it’s free, and very powerful! (Visit the downloads page at http://www.valuesdrivenfamily.com/). See also a previous post on the use of the tool (including images of the charts and graphs).

So what were the steps involved for this “change management?” First…

1. Evaluate metrics: Look at the project plan and see how you are doing. In this case, it’s looking at the budget trends and seeing how we were performing.

2. Identify a problem: Budget categories were not tracking according to plan.

3. Determine the root cause: The amounts allotted were insufficient—gas prices, utility costs, and grocery costs were increasing, entirely out of our control. We were already minimizing travel, being wise with utility usage, and being frugal with grocery purchases. Therefore, it was just the cost of living going up.

4. Develop a solution: If we were not already optimized in these areas, we could resort to implementing practical solutions like traveling less, more frugal shopping, and turning lights off more and burning wood. Since we already do these things, the only solution is more funds to cover the present expenses.

5. Implement the solution: We upped the respective categories to amounts that put us on track and found discretionary categories to pillage.

6. Revisit the plan: After change is implemented, always check your plan and make sure that your overall goals are still being met. In this case, it was simply a balanced budget with all of our spending, savings, giving, and fiscal obligations being met.

Now this was a simple example that we can all understand. But what about implementing change in some more complex areas? Specifically (and even more importantly): what about your parenting, and the discipleship of your children? Guess what? The same principles apply! It becomes a tad bit more complex, because the average parent does not typically have a plan for their children. However, if you and your spouse took the time to discuss what your goals are for your children, you’d realize that you do have one. For those of you who are just trying to survive through the parenting years, I urge you to consider getting more proactive.

Now if you have a plan, and are doing things to achieve your goals for your children, how are you measuring results? Their behaviors? Your gut feeling, or emotions, on their spiritual, or other, condition? These things are good, but may not provide you with the information you need to implement effective change management. Step 1 above is to evaluate metrics. So get beyond your own initial reactions and thoughtfully consider, where is your child’s heart? Are they receiving instruction, submitting to the Lord’s will, and growing in Christlikeness? These are some of our goals—things we monitor.

When we identify a problem (step 2), we look for trends. If trends exist, we seek to understand the underlying cause (step 3). Behaviors are superficial. What is the heart condition leading to the behavior? The source may be one of us, as parents. Or, maybe it’s the delivery: how we communicate, interact, or instruct our children. Maybe we are not spending enough time with the child. Maybe we need to reiterate what the Word says about certain issues, or clarify respective roles. The possibilities are numerous. But the obvious point is that we must introspectively search out the root cause—and with not just a little prayer. Talk to the child, pray about it, use your noggin, and discuss it with your spouse. God will give you the insight.

Now that you hopefully have the root cause of the issue, develop a solution (step 4). What can be done to get things back on track? Parents, be willing to humble yourselves here and come clean if you are indeed the source of the problem. The fresh start is worth the blow to your pride. If the child needs some heart change, work the matter with the tools at your disposal—the Word, the rod, and your loving encouragement.

Step 5 (implementation): just do it! Go ahead and implement your solution.

Step 6: Revisit the plan. Take a good look at your plan; what are your goals? Are your current solution implementation and changes you’ve made consistent with your parenting goals? If not, something needs to change—either your goals, or your methods. Adjust accordingly—again, with much prayer.

I hope that some of these practical tools will benefit you in some way. Don’t let change and problems discourage you. Remember that all challenges are opportunities for growth and improvement (Romans 8:28).

For much, much more detail on these principles and proactive planning in the home, as well as the Biblical basis and application of the parenting “tools,” pick up a copy of The Values Driven Family. Also keep your eyes peeled for my newest book, Values Driven Discipleship. I hope to release it real soon.

God bless you,

Marc