It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I never mean to go a whole week without posting something, but it’s been that long! Marc was away last week and I had other things on my to-do list, so it was busy. This week is going to be equally so, it seems, but I wanted to make time to share a little story.
Yesterday I took the kids out to do their Christmas shopping. They’ve been saving part of their monthly allowances for gift-giving so it was time to count all the dollars and miscellaneous coins to see what the budget would allow. Of course, since they don’t get large allowances ($1 per month per year of their age, for those who are old enough to do “meaningful” work and handle money appropriately), the budget wasn’t a huge one. So, watch out Dollar Tree, here we come! 🙂
But FIRST, we had to stop at Wal-Mart for some grocery shopping, which was a chore that took a bit longer than I anticipated (oops…forgot that–gotta go back a few aisles…price check…and what else?) Waiting in line and checking out took long enough in itself, and by that time the kids were getting a little tired of shopping (as was I, but being the grown up, I was trying not to let it show!). So what’s a tired kid going to do while he stands in line for 20 minutes or so?
I was being a little more thoughtful about “behaviors” yesterday than I sometimes am. What I noticed was the following: my three oldest children laying on the floor beside me, at least trying to stay to one side, should anyone need to walk by; my middle daughter (3 year-old) playing with her little sister, who was strapped in the cart and went from fussing (as it was already nap time and we were STILL SHOPPING) to suddenly SHRIEKING in delight at her sister’s games. That was real fun for her but rather attention-getting–much more head-turning than I’d want to be in a public place. And of course the baby was crying because he woke up from his little nap in my Maya pouch and was hungry. (Can we nurse AFTER check-out, PLEASE? Just a few more minutes, I promise!)
When I asked the older children to get up off the floor, then THEY went to talk to their little sister at the carriage. My oldest, however, wanted to hold the crying baby and kept getting a bit IN MY FACE, since I was the one in possession of said baby. That only slightly interrupted my conversation with the cashier (all about the price check).
All of these things, ANNOYING, yes?! (Particularly the crying baby who refused to be placated, and with everything else on top of it!) It seemed like while we waited I was constantly scanning the area, counting the children, and noting their behaviors. And it also seemed like I was constantly correcting something, just about every time I turned around. I was tempted to be really frustrated…especially given that the past couple of nights I’ve been operating on just a few hours of sleep–that really catches up with you, doesn’t it?
BUT, since I was being extra-thoughtful of these things, here’s what I realized: in every instance, the children had not really ever been told that certain behaviors were not appropriate or desirable (like laying on the floor in the middle of Wal-Mart). Or, they were doing things that would have been just fine somewhere else, but not here (playing with thier baby sister so that she SHRIEKED). Or, in doing something acceptable, they were unintentionally doing something that needed correction (i.e., wanting to hold the baby, but getting in between me and the cashier and our necessary conversation). And, when I did correct them, they did obey right away…and with good attitudes…to adjust whatever it was that they were doing and to meet the expectations that I was expressing.
So my point is, even though it seemed like ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER and I did a lot of correcting, the children were not actually doing anything wrong. I could look at their outward behaviors and desire change, but more for my convenience than anything else. But God looks at the heart–and it was obvious that their motives were pure and they were doing their best. So in the end, I looked at it all as a training exercise and didn’t let myself get frustrated at all. That was good.
And just to prove their good hearts, I had the privilege of experiencing one of those “golden moments” of parenting. As we left Wal-Mart and all of its busyness behind and pulled into the Dollar Tree parking lot, my oldest son bowed his head in the back seat and said the following prayer (and this is a loose quote, but fairly accurate):
“Lord, I pray that you would help us to not covet while we are shopping. I pray that we would think about the people we are trying to bless, and that it would be about THEM, Lord, and not about US. It’s one of your commandments, Lord, and we have a hard time with it sometimes because we see lots of things we want. So we need you to be with us and help us, Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
AMEN!!
“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b)