Author: valuesdr

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness?

valuesdr

I don’t know the origin of the saying, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness,” but it’s certainly not in my Bible. The closest thing I have is the Titus 2 directive to women that they should be “busy at home,” and Timothy 5:14, which tells older women to teach the younger women to “manage their homes.” While I don’t imagine that we honor God when our homes are in a state of disarray or chaos, I do believe that we can allow the pendulum to swing the other way and concentrate too much on housekeeping and not enough on other things that matter.

A minimal level of cleanliness is necessary for everyone’s health. Certainly we don’t want to let food stuffs pile up on the counters, allow our little ones to sleep on sheets that have been soiled, have such a dusty home that breathing is unhealthy, or have the carpets littered with debris that the little ones would be putting in their mouths. That much seems obvious.

Beyond that, it’s important for us to keep clean homes so that we are always prepared to “practice hospitality.” That’s in my Bible, so I take it seriously! (See Romans 12:13, 1 Timothy 5:10, and 1 Peter 4:9, for example). I don’t relish the thought of someone unexpectedly coming to my home and having to make apologies for its condition. At the same time, I don’t think we need to be able to eat off the floors, either. This is our home, and we live here…2 adults and 6 children, all of us, all day, every day. It’s not going to be perfectly clean all the time, but we do try to keep it consistently neat.

Another reason to focus on housekeeping is for the value of diligence that it imparts to the children, as they are trained to help with various chores and are encouraged to keep their messes cleaned up behind them. After all, our children are going to grow up to WORK every day, and while we do want them to enjoy their childhood and there is a time for play, they miss a lot if they don’t see the value of work. It also guides them in wisdom, to have them take care of their possessions by having “a place for everything, and everything in its place.”

Last night my husband went out with four of the six children on an extended errand and I was looking forward to having some time to myself after putting the two youngest ones to bed. All I had to do was put away the few miscellaneous toys that had gotten left out, put some of my laundry away, and get some sleeping bags and pillows out in the tents for the crew when they came home (it was a “camp out” last night, once everyone got home!). Somehow, though, those few things took a lot longer than I thought…and even though I got the little ones to bed at 7:45, I was just finishing up and making myself a cup of tea at about 9:00 when the rest of the family came in the door! Why did it take so long, I wondered? Well, my oldest would have gotten our toddler ready for bed and changed her diaper; the boys would have gone out to put the chickens in for the night and collect the eggs (one of those “unexpected” chores I did along the way…). And I would have had several of the children help with hauling pillows, blankets and sleeping bags out to the tents instead of having to make multiple trips myself. Many hands make light work, and sometimes I do not realize just how much our children help me to accomplish!

I think our children have a great attitude about work and about helping out in service to others–and that is only because we encourage them to help out around the house with all kinds of chores as they are able. (And, yes, they do have plenty of “free time” as well, just for the record!)

Granted, this takes proactive training and patience. We also have to lower our standards a bit when we view the jobs our children do. What is considered “passable” work from a child is certainly not the level of cleaning that I would do. But together, we keep our home in fairly good order.

Everyone has daily jobs, both first thing in the morning and in the late afternoon. We have a couple of general rules: Everyone works until everyone is done (so that if one child is done with his job first, he should go help a sibling with her job.) Also, (straight from 1 Thessalonians 3:10): “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” Thus, we don’t eat breakfast until after all our morning chores are done. If we have a dawdler (or even two) they get helped out by siblings for as long as they are being diligent, but if they are just playing around, they lose the privilege of having helpers and can come to the table and eat along with everyone else once they finish their designated chore. We’ve had a couple of the kids eat cold food a good hour after everyone else had left the table, but they miss the fellowship of the family and don’t prefer cold food, so that’s been a rare exception. Generally speaking, our chores get done within 30-45 minutes and then we’re on to more important things.

Of course, in having a rotating schedule of chores the whole house never looks clean at once, but we do maintain a neat appearance. Granted, we have some consistent “piles” of books and papers here and there in our particular “hot spots.” And dusting has never been my favorite thing to do, so if anything suffers, that’s it. But these things I can live with. I was chuckling to myself this morning as I looked up, because I rarely look UP (except in the spiritual sense…). Here’s what you would see if you took a quick look UP in our kitchen:
Looks nice, no? But here’s what you’d see if you REALLY “looked”:

One thing that has not ceased to amaze me about living in a log home is the number of cobwebs we have in comparison to our old house. So when I look “up” and see this, I grab my duster and take a quick trip around the house, clearing out all of the trouble spots. But beyond that, I don’t worry too much about it. There are much more important things going on. We focus on housekeeping and home management for the values that it will impart to our children and in order to be able to practice hospitality in a way that honors God; but I don’t see any reason to over-invest in this area. If we did, we’d be missing out on valuable family times, teachable moments for discipling our children, opportunities for serving others in ministry, and so on. Home management is of value as a means of training our children in Godly character; but there are so many other things going on in our home that are of greater eternal significance!

I’ve always been a person of order and schedules. I love the idea of “home management.” So stepping back a bit in my own expectations over the years has been, at times, almost painful. But now I’m at a place where I see the wisdom of this paradigm shift, and I’m thankful to the Lord for helping me to keep a balanced perspective in this area. I read a great article a while ago on Steve Nelson’s site, Premeditated Parenting, that I loved so much I now keep it posted on my refrigerator (thanks, Steve!). I’ll copy it here, but if you have a chance, make sure to visit Steve–he’s got some great stuff going on over there! 🙂

With all that being said, I hope you’ll also take the time to visit our site (http://www.valuesdrivenfamily.com/) and get some of our free downloads, including a children’s chore chart, family scheduling templates, and so on. We discuss many of these topics (home management, children and chores, character and values training) in our book, “The Values-Driven Family.” If you’re interested in exploring how to put together all of these pieces of the family puzzle, visit our site for more information or to buy the book!

Without further ado, here’s Steve’s excellent article:

The Smell of Parenting

Proverbs 14:4 Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. ESV

A novice farmer shows off his clean barn to his neighbor. The ground is spotless, and the manger, or feed trough, looks as clean as new. After shooting the breeze a while the experienced farmer invites his friend to come and see what a barn should look like. The young farmer is a little hurt because he can’t imagine a nicer setup than he has.

They walk over to the neighbor’s farm, all the while discussing the incredible amount of work each of the older farmer’s four oxen can perform. At the barn, hay is strewn everywhere, and the feed trough is covered with dried ox slobber.

“What is that horrible stench?” asks the young man.

“That, my friend, is the smell of money.”

The goal of a farmer is not to have the nicest barn, cleanest trough, or freshest fragrances. His goal is to grow crops and raise animals. To focus on his goal, he lets a few things slide along the way. From sunup to sundown he works hard. He is not lazy or negligent, but he simply has no time to clean troughs and rake out barns. Instead of scooping up every piece of manure, he simply wears rubber boots.

A wise parent will take a similar approach. If every meal must be a culinary delight, every toy in its perfect spot, every shelf dusted, and every floor vacuumed, there will be no time left for parenting. With children comes a certain level of messiness. This is to be managed, but also expected. The goal is to raise the children, not eliminate the messiness. As the farmer embraces the mess of the ox the parent should embrace the clutter of childhood. Far more critical things are happening in our homes than keeping our houses spotless. Much good is being produced in a Christian home.

Overheard…

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I was just supervising our three girls (ages 20 months, 3 and 4-1/2) as they unloaded the dishwasher. (Here’s a recent photo, just for the sake of cuteness):

Anyway, as they were going about their work, I overheard (and contributed to) the following conversation:

Deborah (3) (emphatically!, to the 20 month-old): “Hannah, you’re going to HELL!”

Mom: “Deborah, that’s not very encouraging. Instead of telling her she’s going to hell, why don’t you try to tell her about Jesus?”

Deborah: “Hannah, can you say Jesus?”

Hannah: “Je-us”

Deborah: “Now Hanny knows Jesus!”

Rebekah: “No, she doesn’t know Jesus! She just knows how to SAY ‘Jesus!'”

Out of the mouths of babes… 🙂

Praying Through the Day

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“…build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit.” (Jude 1:20, NIV)

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God… . And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Ephesians 6:12-13a, 18, NIV)


What does it mean to you to “pray in the Spirit”? There are many theological debates on this issue, which I can’t say I’d like to address. In my mind, it’s one of those “disputable matters” that’s best left between an individual and God (see Romans 14:1, 22). But clearly, praying in the Spirit is something that helps build us up in our faith and equips us to fight the battle where it’s truly being engaged–in the heavenly realms.

There are many areas in which I struggle. I often meditate on Romans 7, particularly verses 21-24: “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am!” All too often, I find myself a prisoner of the flesh…knowing what God wants me to do but unable to do it by my own strength. Not wanting to be irritable to the children, but reacting with my emotions. Not wanting to feel depressed, but not willing to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 12:5). Wanting to experience the joy of the Lord, but unable to “set [my mind] on things above” (Colossians 3:2), where true joy comes from.

Granted, through Bible study and prayer and, not the least, by my own determined effort, I have made consistent progress in areas of deficiency. I’m certainly not in the same place today that I was three years ago, or even six months ago. But God has really impressed upon me recently the importance of prayer. I’ve been consciously developing an ongoing prayer life and a deeper “attitude of prayer” on a daily basis. Hard to do in the hustle-and-bustle, yes. Difficult to sustain with so many other things vying for attention. When the “tyranny of the urgent” is at its worst, prayer is the first thing that suffers. Probably because it’s one of the most effective things we can do!

For me, progress in the area of prayer began with the reading of “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. (I bought a copy from CBD but it’s available in the public domain and can be printed as an e-book; places like Project Gutenberg have it). I don’t even think I read the whole book, but enough to get motivated and change some things about my personal prayer life.

Lately, “The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit” by Watchman Nee has brought about more dramatic changes, both in how I view the everyday events of life and how I respond to them. Praise God, I’ve been slowly but surely seeing breakthrough in so many areas that have been personally frustrating to me. Not that I’m now perfect, mind you, but the progress has been more than encouraging.

One illustration that Watchman Nee used (and which caused me to think) was in the matter of prayer: two men wanted to develop a closer intimacy with God by growing in their attitude of prayer. In order to develop this habit, they set their watches to go off each hour, and on the hour would make it a point to pray. Unfortunately, this never allowed them to develop that desired communion with God, because in the intervening minutes of the next hour, they became distracted and overwhelmed by whatever activity they were engaged in. Problem was (and this is my extrapolation) that they were praying with their minds, when they needed to learn to pray with their spirit (as the Bible verses mentioned above instruct).

So, of late, my prayer life has been changing. I no longer just pray in praise or pray for the needs that occur on a constant basis…I’m trying NOT to simply “pray with my mind” but rather to more constantly “pray with my spirit” as well (there IS a difference–see 1 Corinthians 14:15). I do believe that this is more than a contributing factor in some of the personal changes that have been taking place as I continue along on my spiritual journey in Christ. All I can do is praise God and press on…it’s my prayer that you’ll do the same. 🙂

Encouraging Your Children with the Core Value Progress Chart

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Would you believe that over 17,500 of our FREE resources were downloaded from valuesdrivenfamily.com by parents like you in the last week?! We are pleased that so many parents are eager to better equip themselves for family balance and success. Praise God!

We’re also tickled to find that so many of you share our heart in realizing that our most vital role as parents is in instructing and encouraging our children in Christ-like character. Of all of the free downloads we offer, the hands-down most popular resource was the Core Value Progress Chart, with more than 1,500 copies downloaded! Though we were excited about the interest in this great tool, we were left a bit puzzled. In the back of our minds, we wondered, “just what are parents doing with this chart?” since we’ve really only detailed its purpose and use in The Values-Driven Family, which comparatively few of you have read. So we decided to dedicate a series of newsletter articles (and blogs) to explaining the purpose, use, and power of some of the free tools you’ve recently downloaded. Enjoy!

On the subject of the chart, let’s start by introducing the premise of the core values on which the chart is based. These were not just randomly selected. I (Marc) embarked on a 30-day, verse-by-verse study of what the Bible had to say about family—every page—and took copious notes in preparation for writing VDF. What became obvious in the study was that God cares far more about our being than our doing. The popular “WWJD?” reflects the importance of “doing” what Jesus would do, but our character is of even greater value. What emerged from my study was God’s desire for humanity to manifest certain characteristics—ultimately, to take on the essence of Christlikeness. The 12 values identified through the study are the ones listed on the chart. Since these are the values that God values, they are the character traits that parents need to model, instruct, and encourage their children to manifest.

The chart itself is a practical means to go beyond just teaching children and helps parents to actively encourage them in greater and greater Christlikeness. It is not just a behavioral checklist. Yes, we identify “target behaviors” and both deficiencies and strengths become obvious. However, the chart is best used as a carrot, not a stick. It is designed to call out positive achievements and encourage positive characteristics. It is not about performance only, but also heart condition.

For example, we as parents can be busy all day and our two children can stay out of each other’s way with no discord. By our standards we would say they were good and reward them. However, if they were each doing their own thing all day, were they generous? What about humble? Did they have a surrendered heart? Did they extend themselves to show love through service? The obvious point is that God cares about our heart—and He is concerned not only about what we “do,” but about what we don’t do. As such, we use the chart to monitor outward manifestations of an inward heart condition. A praying child is a child exercising faith. A child who is thankful and appreciative, and verbally praises God, is a child who has a heart of praise. If we want our children to manifest an earnest lifestyle of faith that pleases the Lord when they are emancipated, we have to facilitate the Word traveling the 18 inches from their minds to their hearts. When properly used, the chart is a powerful tool to help accomplish that goal.

How it works: We start our children on charts at age 2—and you would be shocked at how well they understand the values and God’s desire for their conduct at that age. It’s the ultimate tool for making the Word come alive and understandable for someone who otherwise would not be profitably instructed in God’s Word for years.

Every day (we used to do it twice daily, now only once and only on weekdays) before family devotions, we sit down and recount our day, going down the list with the entire family present to see how each child did in living out the values that God values. It is wonderful to hear a little one shout that another shared a toy or praised God! We check off where they exhibited the core value and cross off and encourage better performance where they were deficient. We reward all children who score a 10 or higher with a small treat—literally a small candy—and we give a larger treat, such as a cookie, for a perfect 12. Make it age-appropriate and desirable—not necessarily snacks. At the end of the week we do a count and everyone who averages a 10 gets an ice cream cone. If they collectively average an 11, we go to McDonald’s for sundaes—that’s a big treat in the Carrier household J.

One revelation that was surprising was that we, as parents, never really know what a child’s score will be before we go through the list. We think we know–we may have dealt with a stubborn child who had a problem with surrender or obedience, and would certainly rate them as fail in a pass/fail paradigm. However, it reveals a lot when we hear the child say that they prayed that their attitude would improve, and that they tried to praise God as a way to change the direction of their day. You see, we measure what makes our lives convenient as parents and miss many opportunities to encourage our children in behaviors that are pleasing to God. This tool helps us avoid these blind spots.

The chart comes with a warning: it is only one tool in the tool box! Don’t forget core value lessons, family devotionals, bible study, and prayer. Likewise, discipline as needed and leverage those real-time “teachable moments” all day long. Last but not least, remember that more is caught than taught—our consistent modeling of the core values will carry far more weight than simply going through a chart with the children. The process of using the chart will force us as parents to focus on these character elements ourselves and will give our Heavenly Father an opportunity to minister to our hearts, molding us into Christlikeness at the same time that we disciple our children. Oftentimes it’s an ouch L, but we need it, too!

If you would like more information about how to use this powerful tool and the others mentioned, please pick up a copy of The Values-Driven Family. You won’t regret it. It has impacted countless families like yours and mine, bringing the Word of God where it belongs–in our hearts and in our homes.

God bless you!

Weathering the Seasons of Life

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I’ve been meaning to blog, really I have. I’ve had lots of thoughts, but of course now that I have a minute to sit down and write something, they’re nowhere to be found.

I’m in a new season of life. The word that keeps coming to mind when I try to describe it is “distracted.” We’re trying to stay on track with homeschooling. I decided this week to begin potty training our 20 month-old. There’s some training to do with the two older girls–new jobs I want to teach them, ways they need to be encouraged more in Godly behavior as they interact with one another. Managing the home has to happen. And then there’s the baby!

My husband and children brought in a half-dozen pumpkins last Sunday evening, because they had some soft spots and weren’t going to make it any longer on the vine. I set out Monday morning (Labor day) to cook, mash and freeze those six little pumpkins. It was about 8:30 in the morning when I started.

I think I finished at about 5:30 in the afternoon.

Why? Because I set the water to boil and put in the pumpkins. Then got distracted. We had company and so of course the children needed adequate supervision and encouragement. I wanted to put on a cup of coffee for my friend. The baby needed to nurse. Then, I wondered, how long has that pumpkin been boiling, anyway?! Pricked it with a fork and it seemed more than done. So I took it off the stove and started scraping the flesh out and dumping it into my blender.

Then I got distracted. I think it was the baby again. And then the kids wanted to go swimming, so I needed to be outside by the pool. While outside, my husband (who had been painting our garage) wondered if I had made the hamburger patties, since it was almost lunch time. Of course I hadn’t. So, leaving the other mom to police the pool, in I went to make some patties, set the table, and put out the rest of the food. Sure would have been nice if the kids had been around to help.

So the pumpkin sat on the counter until after lunch. I got the girls down for a nap, but then the baby woke up wanting to nurse. At least I got to sit down…

Managed to do about three-quarters of the pumpkin by the time the girls woke up from nap. Realized our company would still be around for dinner. Tried to figure out what I was going to put on the table. Made some cookies for the kids and the guys outside (thankfully, I had plenty of frozen balls of cookie dough in the freezer for just such on occasion!).

It goes on…but let’s just say I did not finish the pumpkin until some time after dinner. Praise God it wasn’t also a school day!

It was a good day, but a busy day. It seems every day lately is like that (though not all of them “good…”). But God is good, and God is faithful. We’re pressing on.

Seems a good time to re-post an article that I wrote almost a year ago, called “Weathering the Seasons of Life.” A lot of it is resonating with me right now, though I have to admit I’m doing better (in terms of my spiritual “being”) now than I did then. Praise the Lord for progress. 🙂

Anyway, here it is…

Weathering the Seasons of Life
By Cynthia Carrier

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

Ecclesiastes 3:1 is probably familiar to most of us; it’s not uncommon to hear talk of “seasons” in Christian circles. Seasons are those times of life when we face change, trial, unusual circumstances, or even special grace and blessing. Whenever I’ve heard people talk about being in a particular “season” of life, I get the feeling that things aren’t as they’d like, or that they’re just waiting for this “season” to pass.
We’ve recently weathered one of those seasons which, I think, has almost come to its end. It all started in August of this year when we knew we’d soon be moving from Connecticut to Indiana. Even while I began going through our houseful of belongings—sorting, giving away, throwing away, and boxing up—I was trying to get a head start on our school year, knowing that as the move became more imminent we’d be forced to take a prolonged vacation.
During this time, the baby seemed extra fussy, always wanting to be held. Our toddler was in the process of being potty-trained, with irregular success. And suddenly our three year-old daughter became incredibly whiny. I will say that I did try very hard to keep everything on an even keel, both for myself and particularly for the children. I wanted the transition to be as seamless as possible. Admittedly, however, I had a hard time distinguishing between those things that “needed” to get done and what I simply felt pressured to accomplish. As a result, I was easily frustrated. This did not help to keep the tone of our home what it should have been.
As it so often does, God’s grace evidenced itself at many critical moments. There were quite a few times I had to confess my irritability to my husband or my children and ask for forgiveness and prayer. All in all, though, the process of packing, and even driving halfway across the country, went fairly well and I began to congratulate myself on having weathered this season of life.
I was to find out, however, that it was only the beginning. Once we moved into our new home, the unpacking was another challenge of its own. Yet, we’d been on homeschool “vacation” for almost three whole weeks and I wanted to get back to the books, in one form or another. Trouble was, all the school things were still in boxes and I had no place to put them, as the rec room where they would be stored had woefully inadequate shelving. Add to this feeling pressured to attack all of the other areas of the house (both cleaning and unpacking), and not even knowing where the local grocery store was! Being one who does not deal well with change in the first place, I was reaching the limits of my ability to cope.
To top it all off, after having been in Indiana for only a few days (and thinking that things could only go up from here!), our nine-month-old baby suddenly stopped nursing and my hormones went a little berserk. I’d like to think that I only had a few bad days, but my husband lovingly insists that it was the better part of a week. I was not pleasant to be around. Not only did I make most of the family miserable, but I made myself miserable with self-condemnation. By week’s end, I was asking God to just give me the grace to “start over.” And finally, He did. On Saturday I awoke and truly felt like I had experienced the mercies of God that are “new every morning” (see Lamentations 3:22-24).
But the season itself was still not over. I began homeschooling again that Monday with what few materials I could muster, all while continuing to unpack and make our new house a home and struggling to get to know a new community and integrate in a new church. There were still many things that remained much too unsettled. Thankfully, however, my emotional state had stabilized.
As I write this reflection, I finally feel like this season has run its course. There are only a handful of boxes that remain to be unpacked. Our house feels like home. School has resumed successfully for these past few weeks. We’ve learned the area a bit and gotten to know some wonderful brothers and sisters in the Lord. I’ve asked the Lord throughout this season just what it was He wanted to show me, and now that it’s nearing its end, I believe He’s finally brought it all together. As He always does, He’s worked all things for good and given me some lessons that will hopefully carry me through the next difficult season of life with a bit more joy and stability.
The Word that God gave me to put it all together is found in Ecclesiastes 8:4-6:
“For the word of a king is authority and power, and who can say to him, What are you doing? Whoever observes the [king’s] command will experience no harm, and a wise man’s mind will know both when and what to do. For every purpose and matter has its [right] time and judgment, although the misery and wickedness of man lies heavily upon him [who rebels against the king].” (Ecclesiastes 8:4-6, AMP)

The New Living Translation puts it this way:
“His command is backed by great power. No one can resist or question it. Those who obey him will not be punished. Those who are wise will find a time and a way to do what is right, for there is a time and a way for everything, even when a person is in trouble.”
With this Scripture, God brought some conviction to my spirit that I had focused more, in this season, on the doing than on my being. Yes, everything that needed to get accomplished was accomplished—but there was an unnecessary expense to myself and to my family. I believe that one of the reasons things began to turn around was because, during my bad week, I realized that I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t even know what to pray—so I just asked God for wisdom. I also asked Him to help me to obey Him and live according to His Word, first and foremost, trusting that everything else would fall into place in His time. When I read the verses above, these truths seem to resonate there.
When we’re going through one of life’s seasons, we can’t just give up. We must look to the Lord and to His Word and seek wisdom for each moment. We have to be willing to do hard things, if that’s what God asks of us. Sometimes simply obeying God is hard enough in itself (for example, responding gently and patiently to a child’s repeated questions, when really we’d like to snap at them, “Would you just be quiet?!”) At other times, we may have to give up on our own preconceived ideas about how things “should” be, and go with what God wants them to be.

A season of life may come about because of a pregnancy or the birth of a new baby, an illness or death in the family, a job change or move, or any number of life transitions. As managers of our homes and daughters of the King, we have to persevere through these trials knowing that they will result in greater maturity (James 1:2-4).

In practical terms this may mean that for a while our homes are “neat” rather than “clean.” If we homeschool, we may rely on oral drill and practice rather than workbooks, or focus on the basics of the “three R’s” rather than a more formal curriculum.
If we want to continue to fulfill the Scriptural injunction to “practice hospitality” during a challenging season, we simply have to remember that there is a difference between hospitality and entertaining. We don’t have to offer a four-course meal on fine china with our best silver and choice of drinks and dessert. Instead, our guests will feel most welcome and most blessed when we seek to serve in love. Proverbs 17:1 may speak to this when it says, “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” At the same time, we do need to seek Godly wisdom for those activities that can reasonably be refused—even “church” functions!

It is always wise to have some freezer meals on hand for those unexpected trying times. If you don’t, ask some of the women in your fellowship or family if they would be willing to cook a meal for your family. God created us as the body of Christ to support and uplift one another; if you have particular needs in a trying season, be honest about sharing them and asking for what you need. First and foremost, lift your concerns to God in prayer and He will provide help, oftentimes in unexpected ways.

James 1:2-8 is a good Scripture to remember as you face the storms of life:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” (James 1:2-8, NIV)
Granted, it’s not easy to remain joyful in the face of adversity—but it should encourage us to know that God is working all things for good and that we’ll get done exactly what God means for us to accomplish. That’s where it’s important to pray for wisdom—because all too often, our frustrations arise simply because our ideas and God’s plans are at odds. We must commit to living in a way that honors God, even when life throws us a curveball. As we do so, God is faithful and will bring the appointed season to an end when He’s sure that we’ve learned whatever lesson He intended to teach us.

"But I Didn’t Hear You!"

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Hear [heer]–to learn by the ear or by being told; be informed of
Listen [lis-uhn]–to pay attention; heed; obey (from dictionary.com)

I’ve thought about blogging several times this week but didn’t ever get to it. And even if I did, I really don’t know just what I would have written about. It’s been one of those weeks! Like I’ve been out to the woodshed constantly. Most certainly because I was slow in learning the lesson God had for me. I’m sure that’s never happened to you. 🙂

Recall from my last post how the Lord taught me a valuable lesson through my recent labor and delivery: embrace trials as from the Lord…look beyond the trials to God’s victory and SPEAK His victory into your situation. Well, as the Lord had formed those thoughts in my mind, I remember thinking at the time, this lesson will have great significance to me–but I knew it wasn’t for “now.”

Fast forward only a week or so, though, and it’s like that little lesson was all but forgotten! This week was, I kid you not, a CONSTANT barrage of “stuff.” Testing-of-my-patience stuff. And, I must say, although I persevered through the first few days of “trials”, I was ready to give up by Thursday, and on Friday there were a couple of moments where I actually gave in to tears. This is not something I normally do. And I don’t think it was post-partum hormones, either (though my husband might disagree…).

Then last night (“Mom’s night off,” with Daddy outside working with everyone but the baby), I decided to pick up where I left off in a great little volume that my husband and I have been working through together: “The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit,” by Watchman Nee. It’s about (perhaps obviously) how we must allow our outer man to be broken through the discipline of the Holy Spirit if we are to be effective in serving God fully. Of course, God used this to speak to me about how I had responded to the events of the week. I came away very convicted about failing to receive every event as a shaping experience from the Lord’s hand…also convicted about an attitude that was less-than-stellar. Not that I hadn’t been aware of these things during the course of the week–but now it became more than obvious that I needed to repent.

As I reflected on all of these things this morning (and re-read my last blog–another conviction, ouch!), I realized that when I should have been putting the Lord’s timely lesson about “trials” into practice, I was more focused on the trials than on the Lord. I wondered, since this was such a recent “revelation,” just how could I have failed to apply it?

As if in answer to my question, the Lord brought to mind a phrase that is all-too-common in our house: “But I didn’t hear you!” How many times do I ask the children to do something (and they could be standing right in front of me!), only to have to repeat myself a few minutes later when I realize that they’re not obeying? And their response?: “But I didn’t hear you!” And my typical retort: “If you hear me speaking, chances are I’m not talking to myself–so you should be listening!” (And of course we’re practicing saying, “Yes, Mom!” after I ask them to do something, just so that I know they heard me.) Point is, I realized that I knew God had spoken something to me and I had heard–but maybe I wasn’t really listening. If I had been, perhaps I would have obeyed! I might as well have said, “But I didn’t hear you, God!” And His response? I bet it would be something like, “If you hear me speaking, chances are I’m not talking to myself–so you should be listening!”

“See, a king will reign in righteousness and rulers will rule with justice… . Then the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed, and the ears of those who hear will listen” (Isaiah 32:1, 3).