Category: homeschooling

Conversations…

valuesdr

All this week I’ve been squirreled away in the office downstairs virtually all day. Marc wants me to edit his new book so that we can get preview copies ready for January, which puts us on a pretty tight timeline. Since I’ve been busy with that project, he has been managing the home and children and doing the homeschooling. Interesting change of events, to say the least. On the one hand, a nice break for me; on the other hand, I miss the usual activity and having all my little ones around me all day. I look for excuses to go upstairs off and on throughout the day. 🙂

I had to relate a conversation I had with Deborah, our three year-old, late yesterday afternoon during one of my impromptu visits upstairs. The children had just finished their afternoon jobs.

We are finally recovering from our annual “ladybug infestation,” which is the result of having a soy field in our front yard. Every year, right after the fields are harvested, the displaced ladybugs start to look for new homes–and our home happens to be nice and warm, as it begins to get chilly outside! They find their way in through cracks in the windows, log walls…who knows? But here they are. We vacuum them, usually. But many just come in and die of natural causes, so there are tons of little ladybug carcasses lying around for a couple of weeks in the late fall.

ANYWAY, I’m making a short story long… Deborah’s job yesterday was to clean up the carcasses that have been littering the stairs going from the main level up to our lofted master bedroom. I have a really hard time using the vacuum on the stairs, so Daddy asked Deborah to use the little broom and dustpan to sweep them up. Unfortunately, the broom thing wasn’t really working for her on the carpeted stairs–so she decided to pick them all up BY HAND! Daddy was impressed with her diligence and complimented her immensely. But here is our afternoon conversation about it all–I do WISH you could have HEARD her. She has soooo much personality!! Try to imagine the inflection (and her passion), OK?:

Deborah: OH! MOM!! I did my HARDEST JOB EVER today!! I picked up ladybugs off of your stairs ONLY WITH MY HANDS. It took me a REAL LONG TIME and I didn’t like it at all!! It was my WORST JOB!

Me: (with a laugh and a smile…she’s so cute!), “Aren’t you supposed to ‘work with all your heart, as working for the Lord’?”

Deborah: OH! I DID!! I actually LOVED my job…I just didn’t really like it. Not at all! But I LOVED it!!

——————————————-

Then, there was a really nice conversation with my sweetie as we got ready for bed last night. 🙂

I’m in my first trimester…you know, the totally tired weeks…and have been feeling really bad that lately we put the kids to bed and I’m ready to go upstairs and fall right asleep. Usually Marc and I have some good time together before we finally head to bed, but I’ve barely managed to keep my eyes open lately. So last night as we were tooth-brushing, I said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so tired and blah lately!”

His response: “Are you kidding? You’re a blessing! After spending all this time with the kids this week, I’m realizing how much you do around here!”

Awwwwwwww…..

The Benefits of Essential Daily Routines

valuesdr

Back-to-school time! It can be a stretch for everyone to get back into the habit of schooling. Even if you homeschool and “school all year,” there’s still a special laid-back feeling to summer. Getting everyone going again in the Fall can be a challenge. And if your house is anything like ours, new routines are often met with resistance (or, better stated, bad attitudes). In a previous newsletter, we talked about organizing time with routines rather than a schedule, so this time I thought it would be helpful to take a look at some of the more specific routines that we have found helpful to integrate into our days.

We had been only slightly out of these “routines” this summer, as we took a bona fide summer vacation for once. I finished up my Defeating Depression audio seminar and worked on some other things that I have wanted to get to for a while. The children enjoyed the free time outside and at the pool, and pursued some creative projects of their own as well. But then, we were radically out of the usual routines during our 10-day trip across the country to CT and Canada for visits with family. We began to see some negative attitudes and behaviors after this prolonged departure from “the usual”, and we knew the time had come to get back to the basics!

You may be experiencing a bit of this in your home as you get your children back to school. Even if not, we’d like to share with you some of the elements that we have proactively set in place, to help keep things running smoothly and to battle bad attitudes before they rear their ugly heads. These help us all deal with life’s ups and downs with a little more equilibrium. The daily routines that we have found most helpful are: family devotions, personal Bible reading and prayer, chore times, daily training times, and character training.

You will notice that “school time” is not one of the routines. Yes, this needs to be part of your time organization/schedule if you homeschool, but it is not one of the essential foundations. The essential foundations have more to do with being than with doing—and these are the things that affect our attitudes the most. By attending to these “first things first,” academic routines and other “doings” are a lot easier on everyone.

For us, each day starts with family devotions. We get together in the living room and spend a short time reading the Bible and praying together. There’s no “magic” to it, and no particular formula—but when we don’t get our day started off on the right foot with this routine, it usually isn’t long before we realize we’ve missed it! I love the words of Psalm 5:3: “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” As we focus on the Lord in the morning, we certainly go into the day “expecting” God’s presence and His answer to prayer. You can read more specifically about our family’s devotional routines in this comprehensive excerpt from The Values-Driven Family. Of all of our daily routines, this is one of the most important.

As well, individual family members try to set aside personal time with the Lord. I usually manage to get up a bit earlier than everyone else, and I love the “quiet time!” The children all have Bible and prayer time after breakfast, older children with their Bibles and younger children with storybook versions. The pre-readers often convene on the upstairs couch to “read” Bible stories together and discuss them with me; my older boys usually separate to the bedroom or downstairs couch so the little ones don’t disturb them. I try not to be legalistic about the children having this time, as I don’t want to make Bible reading seem like a punishment or a burden; rather, we began this routine with a gentle daily encouragement: “Why don’t we all grab a Bible and read for a few minutes, to see what God has for us today!” I also don’t associate any “rules” or assignments with this time. I have told the children that I sometimes use a journal in my quiet time, other times copy down and memorize Bible verses, sometimes study with a concordance, or otherwise just read. Much as my own devotional time varies, so does theirs. I may ask them about their quiet time or what they have read, but there is no pressure to perform. This has made daily times with the Lord a happier habit for everyone to develop.

Another proactive part of our daily routines that keeps things on a consistently even keel is chore time. It takes some time to train the children in doing chores, but with patience, good modeling, positive encouragement, and (later) quality-control checks, it is an investment well worth the pay-off. We talked about children and chores in a previous newsletter, and also have a small section of The Values-Driven Family devoted to the topic. Daily chore times are a good habit that helps to maintain a general sense of order and peace in the home. With this structure and these work habits in place, other “doings” (such as school routines) are met with less resistance when they are introduced.

Daily training times are one of my favorite routines. (We have been totally out of this routine almost all summer, and it is painfully obvious.) Sometimes our daily training times are brief (5 minutes) and sometimes they are as much as a half-hour in length—but they are always beneficial. Any time we see something that needs work (or if we want to proactively address certain areas so as not to get to that point), we engage in a fun and enjoyable “training time” to address these topics. We train in safety issues, like fire escape and what to do if you get lost from Mom or Dad in a public place. We train in manners (how to interrupt adult conversations politely, saying “please” and “thank you” and table manners). Other training topics include: picking up toys, putting away toys, shoes, or toothbrushes in their proper places, and even baby care. Click here to read more about this topic (straight from The Values-Driven Family), including practical child training tips and techniques. Or, read our article, “The Softer Side of Child Training” for a condensed version.

We also try to consistently focus on character training. We capitalize on everyday “teachable moments” and bring the Scriptures into our everyday experiences. While this is not a “routine,” per se, it is arguably one of the most valuable habits that we have developed. Family devotions and personal Bible time are important, but learning to view everyday actions, reactions, and decisions in the light of God’s Word has most powerfully affected our childrens’ heart attitudes, character, and (ultimately) behaviors. One way that we do try to make character training more of a routine is to use the “Core Value Progress Chart” every evening with our children, to encourage their growth in Christlikeness and discuss ways they can improve in doing things “God’s way.”

Coupled with these basic routines, we also make a habit of “relationship building” with our children. If we fail to maintain a heart-connection with our kids, all of our other efforts may be in vain as we strive to raise them to love and serve the Lord. A book we read quite some time ago which was most helpful in shaping our thoughts on this topic is Keeping our Children’s Hearts by Steve and Teri Maxwell.

If you find it difficult to introduce new “doings” into your family’s daily schedule, or if you encounter bad attitudes in response to your requests, perhaps you will find it helpful to take a step back to focus on some of these essential foundations. Implementing daily family devotional times, having personal time with the Lord, attending to chores on a daily basis, and training both in practical matters and in character, all reap great rewards as family members strive to grow in Christ together.

Developing a Workable Routine

valuesdr

Organization…are you organized? I admit, I could do a lot better at some aspects of it (for example, my filing system and folders need a total overhaul.) One thing that I do like, though, is the way our time is organized and optimized.

Transitioning from vacation to schooling (if you do have “summer vacation,” which some homeschoolers don’t) can be difficult. No one—Mom included!—likes going back to the rigidity of a schedule after the flexibility and freedom that summer often brings. So one thing we typically re-visit before a new school year is our daily schedule, to see if it needs any re-organization.

Scheduling. That’s a loaded word, and often inspires dread in the mom who just hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet. I used to do it. I used to love it. But I used to hate it, too. Why? Because for as many days as a schedule helped me to feel productive, there were days that the productivity was at the expense of relationship-building, discipleship opportunities with the children, and what have you—things, frankly, that were more important than what was on my schedule. But my schedule too often ruled the day!

We wrote extensively about developing a good working schedule in The Values-Driven Family. However, by the time you get to my most recent book, The Growing Homeschool, you will see a paradigm shift in the focus, from schedule to routine. Now, instead of scheduling every day and every task to the half-hour and feeling guilty when it’s not done (or allowing those tasks to drive us and feeling guilty about missed opportunities), we develop a solid routine for our day that is based on our well-defined priorities.

Would we re-write The Values-Driven Family? Well, we have actually talked about it, since we’re in a bit of a different place now as far as scheduling goes. However, a rather lengthy period of using a schedule was necessary for us, and highly beneficial in many ways. Scheduling helped us grow in necessary self-discipline. It helped us to examine our daily tasks and see where our time was going. It helped us to be better stewards of our time. I wouldn’t “not” recommend it as a tool for making the most of every opportunity (which is what we’re all about here at Values-Driven!).

So with or without some scheduling experience under your belt, how do you shift into a solid routine that will ensure that all of your vital priorities are being met? Well, the first thing you need to do is decide what those priorities are, and try to set them in order of importance. Husband and wife need to talk together about what is most important to each of them, and why, since there will not always be instant agreement. However, this is a vital conversation, and much stress and frustration can be avoided when both partners are on the same page.

How is this helpful? Well, oftentimes I “think” that the house is a mess and so home management becomes Priority One. I get to bustling around the house and pretty soon I’m telling the kids, “Sure, I’ll be there in a minute. Just as soon as I’m done with [insert task].” But, then I stop and think about my husband’s priorities. He wants the house to be “neat,” so that we are prepared to practice hospitality and be welcoming to potential guests in an instant. However, he prefers to invest the maximum amount of time in relationship-building, life skills, and discipleship opportunities. When I find myself cleaning “too much,” I know that I’m not doing my best to meet my husband’s expectations—and frankly, I trust in his wisdom to lead our home and know that his choices are probably better than mine (even if my perfectionist instincts disagree). So I switch gears and drop what I’m doing, then get back on track with the higher priorities.

Your husband’s duties may be different from yours and will most likely include providing for the family through work. You may or may not need to be concerned with that. I’m talking here about the priorities that will guide your day as you manage your home and possibly, your homeschool. What does your husband think you should focus on? What are your preferences as to how time will be spent? Some couples will agree that academics are important and should be addressed as a priority in homeschooling; other families focus on discipleship as the heart of the homeschool. You don’t have to agree with “everyone else,” but you and your husband must be in agreement as to how things will work in your home.

Some things to consider in setting your priorities and putting them in order are:

  • Work for income, if it is necessary for you
  • Discipleship of your children (teaching and modeling God’s Word, and bringing the Scriptures alive through everyday “teachable moments”)
  • Ministry opportunities in your community
  • Building family relationships
  • Homeschooling (and your focus: academic, life-skills oriented, or discipleship-based, as well as the amount of paperwork/planning you need to do to meet state requirements or fulfill your personal obligations)
  • Home management roles and expectations (housekeeping, grocery shopping, bill payment, and all other things related)

For us, we view discipleship and family relationships as priority one; ministry opportunities are usually second in line, then homeschooling (however, integrating all-of-the-above is the ideal). My home-based work for income usually ties in last place with home management—and home management is usually the more pressing of the two. However, there are seasons where I’m working on a project (like my just-released Defeating Depression seminar) and home management takes a back seat. As well, I try to coordinate those projects with a school vacation or part-time schedule of schooling if need be, so that I’m not overwhelmed and so that everything can be reasonably accomplished.

Likewise, what if we are expecting company? Well, home management may be the more important task of the day (if we’ve been letting things slide a bit), so we might call a “work day” and the children will get excused from some of their homeschooling to help with the clean up effort.

From these two examples alone, you can see why a routine is preferable to a schedule! Each day is different, and some days our priorities have to be re-ordered according to circumstances. However, those priorities are a necessary guide in the midst of the busyness of day-to-day life.

A routine is also preferable, because some days “accomplishing” those priorities takes different amounts of time and cannot be neatly segmented into the 30-minute increments of the typical daily schedule. Some days it seems like we’re capitalizing on one “teachable moment” after another (read: some days the kids seem to be getting into all kinds of trouble, and bickering about everything, and not doing their jobs!) However, that’s discipleship at its best—and that’s a priority! On the other hand, some days are light on discipleship, so we will focus on homeschooling and get a lot done to “make up” for any lost time on other days.

Truthfully, I think that the difference between a schedule and a routine is faith. Are we seeking God and prayerfully doing our best to do what He wants us to do? Are we listening to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit as He prompts us to change direction? Can we be flexible enough to submit to God’s plan, particularly when it is adversity or annoyances that reveal the change in direction? If so, then a routine is an ideal tool and allows us to accomplish all that is in God’s will for our day. Conversely, a rigid and unforgiving schedule only causes us to try to “do it all” in our own strength—and that can be quite frustrating!

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” Proverbs 16:9

Christian Parental Rights Threatened

valuesdr

The rights of all fundamentalist Christian parents are being threatened by the current Texas case. Members of a group are being stripped of their children based on simply the “potential” for abuse–not based on actual crimes–all resulting from a court order resulting from what has been proven to be a false report. If you homeschool, spank your children, or ascribe to any other worldview that is at odds with society as a whole, you run the risk of being labeled part of a group that has the “potential” to abuse your children. This is scary stuff for any loving parent who ascribes to a Biblical worldview.

Read this article for details: http://www.blacklistednews.com/iNP/view.asp?ID=6369

Homeschooling with Little Ones on wikiHow

valuesdr

How to Homeschool With Infants, Toddlers, or Preschoolers

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Maybe you have been successfully homeschooling older children. You have developed your academic goals for them and have chosen a curriculum or method and materials that work well for you. But what happens when you add infants, toddlers, or preschoolers into the mix? How do you adequately nurture the little ones without compromising the educational needs of your older children, neglecting your home management responsibilities, or missing out on the joy of day-to-day life as a family? Following these steps can help!

Steps

  1. Prioritize. Make sure to put first things first. Priorities will be different for each family, and different tasks have to be juggled on different days, with varying levels of importance–so this is a very fluid process. Our priorities: faith, family relationships, discipleship of our children, academic learning, and home management. Not everything needs to be done perfectly every day. The idea is that in the long-haul all your goals will be met. Remember that when you homeschool, it’s 24/7/365, not from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM, Monday through Friday, 180 days a year. Some days it seems that we have to emphasize character-building issues and it may be a temporary frustration not to do so much “schooling,” but we catch up quite easily on other days. It’s a balance–so set your priorities and keep them in some kind of order, day by day.
  2. Develop a good routine. “Schedule,” maybe–if it works and doesn’t become a hard task-master for you. Routine, DEFINITELY. Everything goes much smoother if everyone knows what to “generally” expect in the course of each day. Make time for Bible reading and prayer if this is a priority for you. Fit in chores, school time, free time for the children, some family time, extra-curricular activities (well-considered), and whatever else is on your priority list.
  3. Integrate life and school. As much as possible, consider how multiple objectives can be met concurrently. Some of the things that need “doing”: taking care of the baby, keeping the young ones occupied during school time, schooling the older kids, character training, home management and perhaps ministry or service within the community. And of course, it’s important to always enjoy just being a family! Some examples of integration: let one of your older children spend some time rocking the baby while they listen to a teaching tape or watch an educational video. Have a daily 30-minute chore time (or two, 30-minute chore times) during which everyone helps in some aspect of home management or food preparation. At the same time, do math drills out loud, Mom can read aloud to the kids while they work, or verbally review what the children have learned in their lessons during the morning or the day before. Let the little ones use the math manipulatives that the older kids are using or scribble on paper while the big kids do their writing. It may be a bit distracting, but it keeps the family unified and lets the little ones feel included–thus, they are often less disruptive.
  4. Integrate multiple subject areas. Think about how you can kill many birds with one stone in academic learning by doing a Unit Study on a topic of interest. Use your science or history textbook as a springboard for theme-related ideas that you can flesh out with different activities. A quick search online will usually result in many great ideas, no matter what topic you want to cover. One example: One science topic on our list of objectives was to study the human body systems. We read a library book on body systems (SCIENCE), then (for LANGUAGE ARTS), we reviewed how to use a dictionary. The younger children used a simple kids’ dictionary and the older used a standard dictionary. Each child looked up different words related to the topic. (For example, the first grader looked up things like “brain,” “stomach,” and “lungs,” while the third grader defined things like “system,” “organ,” and so on.) They wrote words and definitions, then a short summary of what we had read. To integrate MATH, we compared the interrelated body systems to the interrelation of different mathematical operations (i.e., addition as the opposite of subtraction, and multiplication and division as inverse operations). Integrating social studies in this case was a bit challenging so we simply did some book work at a later time. Integration is great, but it doesn’t have to be all-or-none. You can purchase many unit study materials, but a little creativity and an Internet connection sometimes suffices just as well. Also consider how the arts and different subject areas can be integrated just through journaling and “living books,” as in the Charlotte Mason approach.
  5. Expect and train your younger children (toddlers and preschoolers) to occupy themselves with a single activity for at least 20-30 minutes during school time. Activities in a bag or box are good for this (many ideas online, free or for purchase). Help them enjoy reading by giving them quality picture books and simple stories for an independent “reading time.”
  6. Meet the unique needs of your little ones. Balance quiet times with more physical activities. Keep them well-hydrated and offer small,healthy, mid-morning snacks. Fill them up with some “Mommy time” before their more independent play period. Finally, don’t expect them to tend to a task or activity for much more than 20-30 minutes.

Tips

  • Always supervise your little ones visually, even if they are expected to be doing something independently.
  • Be willing to invest time in training your children–this makes the process of academic learning much smoother, when it happens.
  • Don’t forget, you are a family first–so no matter what you are “doing,” make it a priority to love and enjoy one another.

Warnings

  • Again, always adequately supervise your little ones. With multiple ages of chilren, it’s easy for little ones to grab little things that are potential choking hazards, or for them to wander off and find trouble while mom is addressing a schooling issue with one of the other children!

Sources and Citations

  • The original content for this how-to was developed from “The Growing Homeschool: Integrating Babies and Toddlers into Your Already Busy Schedule” by Cynthia Carrier. [1].

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Homeschool With Infants, Toddlers, or Preschoolers. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Some of Our Favorite Sites

valuesdr

Sometimes I love exploring link lists, other times I don’t feel like scrolling through them. When I do check out a new site, I have a bad habit of thinking, “Oh, this is cool!” and then I bookmark it, but don’t return to it regularly enough to make the most of it. My husband often complains about how disorganized my Favorites links are; maybe that’s why so many good sites languish there.

There are a few sites, however, that I’ve returned to more faithfully, so I wanted to compile a list that might be helpful to all you internets out there. I’ll try to keep it organized. I may update the list once in a while, but I’ll do my best to do it justice the first time around.

Home Management Links

 

  • www.moneysavingmom.com/. Links for printable coupons, the latest & greatest deals at stores like Walgreens, CVS, and Target, and tips for beginning bargain-hunters.

 

  • www.angelfoodministries.com. An income-independent food service programs whose mission is the stretch your family’s grocery dollar. They offer monthly packages of various kinds at very good prices. Some do not like the pre-packaged food items included, but AFM also offers a fresh fruit & veggie box that is a good value.

Homeschooling Links

    • www.oldfashionededucation.com. A sister site to Hillbilly Housewife, this site offers links to free homeschooling resources (literature and textbooks), organized by subject area.

 

  • www.gutenberg.org. Thousands of freely available, public-domain ebooks. These usually require some formatting before you print them yourself, but I like the solid Biblical and character emphases of many of these older texts. I haven’t found the search tool particularly user-friendly, but if you know what you’re looking for, this site is a must to bookmark.

 

 

  • www.kids.askacop.org. This is a site full of links related to safety (fire safety, stranger safety, road safety, and more). It has coloring and informational pages for kids as well as online games and safety-related stories. Being homeschoolers and, by default, home most of the time, it’s easy to feel insulated from dangers of various kinds–but we cannot overlook proactive training in this area.

 

 

  • www.crayola.com. This is one of my favorite sites for kids’ art. It has an online art tool, printable coloring pages, and lesson plans for neat activities that the whole family can do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting Sites

 

  • www.pluggedinonline.com/. Not a parenting site, but necessary for proactive parenting. Use this tool to evaluate current music, movies, video, and other media from a Christian perspective and make informed decisions for your children and family.

 

Spiritual/Church Sites

    • www.aboverubies.org/. This site has some wonderful articles to encourage women in their godly calling as wives, mothers, and managers of the home.

 

  • www.boldchristianliving.org/. Some informational articles on different aspects of Christian living and parenting; I always come away challenged to “come up higher” in my walk with God.

 

 

  • www.kidsofcourage.com/. This site has stories and activities about modern-day persecution in the Church, designed specifically for children. I’ve found this an invaluable site for sharing with the children 1) the blessing of being able to worship freely and 2) the reality of persecution when we stand for Christ. We also receive the free Voice of the Martyrs publication so that we can read through it as a family: www.persecution.com/.

 

 

 

 

 

Miscellaneous

 

  • www.worldnetdaily.com/. Marc’s favorite source for news with a Christian world view. No TV in our home. Internet news is Marc’s means of staying current.

 

  • www.wikipedia.org/. An online, open-source encyclopedia–a great place to begin your research.

First things first—majoring in the majors with homeschooling

valuesdr

Cindy and I just started a very interesting dialogue—discussing why it is people homeschool. We asked ourselves, why did we decide to homeschool? We also asked our oldest children why they thought we homeschooled. The simple answer of why we originally elected this option, and why our children thought we homeschooled, was sheltering from the worldly. This is a noble goal and a reasonable consideration for choosing this path. However, I would argue that it isn’t the right reason.

The conversation brought to mind a review done by a homeschooling publication that included a caveat (subtle warning, really) concerning our book that said we were not “homeschool only.” The reviewer clearly misinterpreted what we were saying because of a reigning philosophy that homeschooling is (in and of itself), the end, rather than a means to an end.

In our writings we focus on discipleship—and we said in the reviewed book that imparting God’s Word to our children and making double effort to counterbalance cultural influences while using public school is “good.” Doing the same with private Christian school is “better,” and discipling children at home via homeschooling is “best.” You see, the reviewer thought we were saying public school was good—when we were saying parents taking a leadership role discipling their children was good, not the academic environment. I would even go as far as to argue that homeschooling with a secular focus, without incorporating the Word, is BAD. See the perspective difference?

This focus of homeschooling itself being the holy grail—the pinnacle of achievement and accomplishment—is a myth. Homeschooling does not guarantee that our children will grow up serving the Lord or even be people of character. It is not the end. Homeschooling is a means to the end. It’s what we do with this vehicle as a means for discipleship that dictates our success.

Now, let me be blunt. The Bible never even so much as mentions the concept of school. Are we honestly to make something that the Bible is silent on our lead item, our raison d’etre? Should this really be our focus? I would question the wisdom of that decision.

So you may be wondering, why does this guy homeschool if it’s not sheltering? In a nutshell, the Bible is not silent on the subject of parents imparting God’s Word to their children. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7 it talks about how this is done: through real-life discipleship. Homeschooling is truly the only means for accomplishing this. That is the right reason to homeschool—for doing what the Bible says to do.

With this in mind, it befuddles me why so many homeschooling parents work so hard to emulate the public school environment at the neglect of simple biblical discipleship—text books, lectures, workbooks and worksheets—everything you’ll find in public school—none of which will be even remotely alluded to in Scripture. These tools aren’t bad. However, majoring on the minors—focusing on the things the Bible is silent on to the neglect of the things the Bible is explicit on is a bit perplexing to me. I think we really need to keep our priorities in order if we are to use homeschooling for what it is: simply, the best tool available to us parents to fulfill our biblical mandate of discipling our children. We just need to keep our priorities in order. At least that’s my two cents.

Dangerous Intersection: Homeschool and Life…

valuesdr

Last time we got a little philosophical on homeschooling, so now how about something a little more practical? Our planner/organizer pages for homeschooling are another download that attracts lots of visitors, and that gets me thinking about the difficulty of intersecting home management and homeschooling.

I recall reading in my last issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, “10 Tips for Successful Homeschooling,” (or something like that…sorry, I don’t have it in front of me right now). Anyway, the article was written by a mom of eight children, and her tips were good ones. One of her suggestions, though, gave me pause. She advised not do “housework” during school time, but to set aside a chunk of time during the day and keep it just for academics. I remember being surprised that she could do that with eight children! I don’t know about you, but at my house there’s always something else going on at “school time,” especially with several little ones (preschoolers) underfoot.

Maybe that was a goal—an ideal? I didn’t get that impression from the article, but it sure doesn’t seem exactly practical to me. Not that I’m knocking someone else’s way of doing things; it sure sounds like a great plan. I’d love to be able to compartmentalize things that way! But, like I said, when the rubber meets the road, I wonder how it’s possible to actually do it? I know that when we start “school time” in the morning, sometimes I have to interrupt my school-agers’ routine so they can hold the baby while I change the toddler’s diaper. Or have one of them run and get me a towel to deal with the spilled…whatever on the floor. Granted, I do try to keep interruptions to a minimum—but life inevitably goes on. If it’s not housework, it’s often “something else.”

And then there’s one of the questions that came up in “Managers of Their Homes” (a great book by Terri Maxwell—I highly recommend it!). What do you do when you have school time scheduled to cover certain subjects each day, and the assignment doesn’t get finished during the allotted time? Do you scrap the remainder of the assignment (going back to it during the next scheduled period for that activity) or do you let the child finish—which skews the “next” thing? Terri recommends staying with your time schedule and returning to the work during its next slated block. Makes me think of a friend of mine, whose daughter always seems to be playing “catch up” with schoolwork on Saturday—sometimes for a good part of the day—just for this reason. That’s no fun for anyone!

So what’s a homeschool mom to do? We need to address academics, yes. We all could use more hours in the day—so scheduling may help. But then again, it’s often a hard task-master. Setting aside “school-only” time is a great ideal, but “life” sure does happen, no matter how you try to keep it out of the way.

I’ve found that, for us, it’s important to have a “first things first” mindset about homeschooling. And that doesn’t necessarily mean setting aside “school time” in the morning and letting everything else go until later in the day. We do have time that’s earmarked for academics, but it’s helpful to be forgiving about how our time, overall, is utilized. When I see my school goals for the day getting interrupted by distractions, difficulties, sudden errands, or other things, I have to take a step back (often take a deep breath…and pray), and then remind myself to prioritize. And, honestly, academics aren’t in the number one spot. We can homeschool 24/7 and 365, so I don’t worry about “when” it will happen. I know that it will! Instead, I deal with the more important matters–the things that are of eternal value.

What that means is that first, I recognize that we are growing in Christ and want to glorify Him in all that we do. So we focus on character development, living the Word, sharing the Gospel, and all that is most valuable to the Lord. So what do we do when a child’s assignment isn’t getting done in the time period that I would like? Well, first, I make sure that my expectations have been realistic. Sometimes it’s an error on my part that causes frustration. Then, we capture that “teachable moment” and talk about what is important to God in this situation—not the assignment getting done (because we can always learn multiplication or state capitals or “whatever” another day)—but that we exhibit the character of Christ by working diligently, or by having a positive attitude about work, or by praising God for whatever circumstance we’re in. We encourage one another with topical Scriptures, pray together for a fresh start, provide encouragement if something is difficult, teach (or re-teach) if necessary, and move on in our lesson. Even if we “waste” a half-hour over these character training issues, is it really a “waste?” Maybe today we’ll have to scrap an assignment that we’d rather not—but it’ll make for a better day tomorrow! And, my children will be growing in Christ, which I consider to be of greater value than all of our academics.

Second, we are a family. We deal with each other and with real life as-it-happens. These are some of our most valuable lessons! When my older children are trying to work at the dining room table and the toddler blows through the area with her pint-sized vacuum (and boy, do I love the sound of that on our tile floor!), yes, I encourage her to go use her vacuum in the living room (on the softer, quieter carpet), and yes, I’ll remind the boys that they can go downstairs if the noise is getting distracting…but it’s also not a big deal to me if I invite the boys to stop and smile at their sister, or if they interrupt what they’re doing for a few minutes to talk to her and laugh about something. Maybe we’ll go “over” on our allotted time for their assignment, but in the meantime we’re building our family relationships and enjoying one another. Again, you just have to ask yourself, what is of greater value?

We’ve found it very helpful to “start” with a schedule. It’s a necessary discipline that helps us to determine what needs to be done, and to find out just when we’ll have time for each piece of the puzzle. Then, it’s nice to work ourselves “out” of that schedule a bit and experience the freedom of a really good routine. Because didn’t I mention that a schedule can be a hard task-master? It is often what gives us the idea that academics are for school time and real life isn’t allowed to interrupt. It can be what causes us, as parents, to neglect teachable moments when we can impart God’s Word to our children at a key time when their hearts will receive its truth. It can also be what makes us miss out on loving and enjoying one another as a family.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that it’s “bad” to have a schedule. If you do have one, then I think it’s just wise to realize that God is the author of our hours and that He will very often have a different plan than we do. So don’t get too rigid. That’s where we fall down! And remember our last newsletter article about the foundations of homeschooling? The heart of Christian homeschooling is Jesus Christ and our relationship with Him. Don’t sacrifice the relationship for a bunch of rules. If God wants something to get done, He’ll give you time to do it. If you’re frustrated and scrambling to make things happen, you’re probably trying to accomplish something that can reasonably be put off until another time…or maybe doesn’t need to be done at all. Ask God, and don’t be pressured by your own ideals or compare yourself to “the Joneses.”

Yeah, I know that as homeschool moms we have lots on our plates. It’s hard to balance it all. We don’t want to drop any of the balls we’re juggling—they’re all important! So have a plan, and work a plan—but be willing to let “life” interrupt it. Let GOD interrupt it. And rest assured that what “needs” to get done, will get done. Be realistic in your expectations: what your house looks like (i.e., how clean it will be), your academic goals for your children (does it really matter if they don’t know every detail about the Punic Wars? I don’t know if that’s ever been relevant in my life!); and, especially, the fact that interruptions will happen.

When “school” gets interrupted by “life,” remember your priorities. Put first things first. So when your child doesn’t get an assignment done during its allotted time, do you drop it and move on, or do you press through and finish—even if that means afternoon chores are sacrificed? Well, maybe on Monday it’s the former, and on Tuesday it’s the latter. Both are viable options. Ultimately, I think it’s helpful to just ask yourself, Why is God allowing this circumstance? Seek wisdom about how to manage every moment. If God has asked you to homeschool, He will equip you. Just remember to seek Him. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle-and-bustle that life (including schooling!) is just the sum of what you “do.” Abide in God’s presence and remember that it’s all about Him.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NIV).

The Heart of Christian Homeschooling

valuesdr

The Heart of Christian Homeschooling
By Marc & Cynthia Carrier
Originally published in Homeschool Enrichment Magazine

Recently, a comment made by an acquaintance stoked our conversational fires for quite a while. This mother of two young boys said, with all sincerity, “We use public school as a tool to help teach our children how to interact in the world. But I homeschool in the evenings, since I really have a heart to teach children.”

We could understand using public schools as a tool, albeit we would question the wisdom of that decision. However, the thought of homeschooling in the evening in addition to public school gave us pause. We wondered just what she meant. Did she focus on things like character training or Bible lessons that would be neglected in a public school setting? Did she try to engage in conversations or study that would compare and highlight a Biblical worldview versus the secular worldviews to which her children were being exposed? We didn’t suppose that she spent those precious hours supplementing the math, history, or grammar lessons that were already an integral part of her children’s academic education. The question we kept returning to was, just what does she think homeschooling is, and what is her motivation for doing it?

These are valid questions for all of us to ponder. In fact, many of the homeschoolers we know (ourselves included) typically revisit their purposes and plans for homeschooling in anticipation of each new academic year. When this comment and subsequent conversation were fresh, in fact, we were not far removed from our annual evaluation. So it was easy for us to answer the question, “Why are we homeschooling?” Let’s face it, it certainly isn’t convenient. Think about all the sacrifices we make to educate our children: very often financial sacrifices, and most certainly a multitude of personal sacrifices. So is it for academics? Character training? To shelter our children from worldly influences? Or is it for the purposes of Biblical instruction? For most of us, it’s likely some combination of the above. But if we’re honest with ourselves, just which of these drivers would we say is our greatest priority—and more importantly, does our homeschooling lifestyle reflect that assertion?

Almost without exception, the homeschool parents we’ve talked with all mention issues of peer pressure, secular worldviews, evolution, and the like. The comment we most often hear at the tail end of these discussions (and sometimes spoken a bit self-righteously) is, “Well, that’s why we homeschool!” And certainly, sheltering to some degree can be a benefit of homeschooling. We love our children and have their best interests in mind. Teachers, in contrast, are salaried professionals who can never share the affection that we have for our children. More importantly, the public school environment is devoid of (and very often antagonistic to) the faith that we as Christian parents profess.

Sheltering can help us promote a more conservative worldview than is expressed in the public school environment. In particular, by homeschooling we can stand against some of the things that society says is best for our children, especially in terms of gender roles. Our daughters don’t necessarily need to have high-powered careers; our sons don’t have to go to Ivy League schools and prepare for enslavement in the high-stress corporate world. We don’t need to prepare both genders to be able to exchange roles with ease.

As homeschooling parents, we have the privilege of preparing our children to function within their God-given roles when the time comes for them to have a family of their own. Our daughters learn to be loving and competent wives and mothers by helping Mom around the house; likewise, boys should have opportunities to work around the house or with Dad “on the job.” Public school “home economics” or shop classes are no substitute for home-based training. Instruction can impart certain skills, but only our modeling and sincere encouragement will enable our children to embrace the traditional Christian lifestyle of faith.

Another benefit of homeschooling is that it provides us, as parents, with a unique opportunity to prepare our children for “real life” by training them in productive labor. This just isn’t possible in the traditional public school setting. Let’s face it—in life we will labor. How better to ready our children for this challenge than to ask them to share in household work or to encourage them in entrepreneurial ventures?

Yet the most important conclusion we’ve reached about our schooling objectives reverberated throughout our conversation and re-solidified our commitment to our true priority in homeschooling: not academics, not life skills, not simply “sheltering,” but, quite simply, living the Word of God in an authentic and joyful way so that our children will grow up embracing our lifestyle of faith.

While the net result of sheltering our children from some of the adverse philosophies and influences that are found in schools is certainly positive, what will ultimately please God the most is not that we simply remove these influences, but that we proactively equip our children to grow to love Him and abide by His Word. We can shelter our children from all of those “bad” things and still miss the mark if we fail to fill them up with all the good things. Consider the following Scriptures:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, emphasis added)

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, emphasis added)

Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them to thy sons, and thy sons’ sons. (Deuteronomy 4:9)

These are some of the verses that have directed our planning and preparation for our homeschooling regimen. What impressed us about these commands is that they are not prescriptive of what we keep from our children, but rather descriptive of how we are to actively impart God’s Word to our children, both by instruction and by example. These verses (and others like them) should be at the heart of our homeschooling objectives.

We also noted that these passages do not reflect the compartmentalized academic curriculum that is common to schools and all too willingly emulated by many homeschooling parents. As a result, we have decided to move away from curricula and toward a life-skills oriented “program” of doing life together with God’s Word at the center. Yes, we still use textbooks. Yes, we still have certain times that are set aside for “schoolwork.” Yes, we want our children to achieve a certain academic standard. However, what we do not want is to end up sacrificing our children’s character and their spiritual health on the altar of academic excellence.

Likely, all of us as Christian homeschoolers pay some lip service to offering our children a spiritual education. When we began to honestly assess our homeschooling materials and methods, however, we didn’t like how we measured up, and we were forced to make some changes. Looking introspectively at what we’d been doing during the previous year, we found that we had, more and more frequently, simply brought some element of Bible teaching into our home education rather than integrating academics into our everyday Biblical living. It wasn’t that our children’s spiritual growth and faith were not important; in fact, we would have said they were essential. However, the curriculum approach to education had truly trapped us into a more rigid academic focus.

Thus, another change we’ve made is to not have a “Bible curriculum.” While we will occasionally use Bible study materials or take part in a group study, that’s not our typical method of growing in God’s Word. We read the Bible daily (both independently and as a family); we seek God in prayer for guidance and direction in our reading; we delve deeper by using concordances and dictionaries; we challenge each other with thoughts and questions; we enjoy speaking and living God’s Word to the best of our ability. This is what we want for our children. We don’t want our children’s faith to become just another academic subject, or something to check off in a daily assignment book. We want it to be what they live and breathe.

The question we’ve returned to again and again is the same one that we challenge you to consider afresh today: “Why do we homeschool?” Our short answer? It’s the only way we can do what God asks of us, which is imparting His Word to our children all day long! We feel that, Biblically, it’s our responsibility to do this, and it’s just not possible to accomplish this successfully in a public school paradigm. God wants us to homeschool so that we can teach His Word and raise our children in a lifestyle of authentic faith. All else is secondary. And it isn’t a part-time endeavor. The Word must be both taught and lived in order for it to travel the 18 inches from the mind to the heart.

This active instruction in God’s Word must move beyond the academic if it is to be effective. It is through “doing life” in an authentic way that challenges and conflicts emerge. And it is only through these trials that we have the opportunity to make our Biblical instruction real (see, for example, James 1:2-4). There is no better way to prepare our children to succeed in this world than to impart to them a solid, Biblical character.

Our answer to the question, “Why homeschool?” is indeed significant, but even more indicative of our true priorities is how we homeschool and how we’re living out the beliefs we profess. It may be that we clearly see both the academic and “sheltering” benefits of homeschooling; as a result, these become emphasized because they provide obvious goals and measurable results. However, if we neglect the essential element of constantly immersing our children in the Word of God and a lifestyle of faith, they may suffer the consequences of a misapplied focus.

God cares little if our children score well on their SATs or go to an Ivy League school. He wants their hearts and minds to be centered on Him. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t properly prepare our children to be functional adults, or even that we should restrict them from experiencing success in a higher learning environment. However, it does mean that we can’t neglect the essential element of everyday Biblical living as we pursue the academic and social aspects that can often become the focus of our homeschooling.

We would challenge all of us, then, to re-examine both why and how we homeschool, and to be mindful of God’s heart for all of our families on this homeschooling journey:

I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God (Psalm 78:2-8).

Our job is not just to prepare our children to compete academically or to fulfill a job description that might be a part of their future. Our job is to live the Word of God and teach the Word of God. Sheltering helps in this endeavor. Providing opportunities for meaningful labor and preparing our children to function in their God-given roles as wives or husbands is also significant. But it is being God-centered in all of our doings that is of utmost importance if we are truly seeking to fulfill the Biblical objectives of homeschooling.

"I Just Want Somebody Else to do it!"

valuesdr

Somehow, yesterday afternoon I started feeling a bit tired. Probably not too physically tired, but–you know–just “tired.” Tired of going from one mess to another, keeping constant tabs on the little trouble-maker(s), bouncing from activity A to child B to child C and back to activity A. Have you ever had one of those days? Yeah, leaves you feeling “tired.” And in spite of getting one of the better night’s sleep I’ve had in recent memory, I still felt that lagging feeling when I got up and got going this morning.

The feeling was exacerbated by my oldest, who felt it unfair that he had to lug a heavy jug of WARM water out to the chicken coop, because the animals’ water had frozen overnight. And clean the leaves out of the outdoor water container. And, to top it all off…IT WAS COLD OUT!

So we made it through breakfast with a few complaints but for the most part OK. After breakfast I asked my 3 year-0ld to bring me her toothbrush so that I could help her brush her teeth. She said, “No.” So I asked, “Why?” (which I usually don’t bother asking, since “no” is just, for the most part, not an acceptable answer.) But I did ask, “Why?,” this time, to which she responded, “I just want somebody else to do it!”

Well, my thoughts exactly! I just hadn’t articulated them quite as well as my three year-old. I think my oldest son would have seconded the notion as well.

When the fussy toddler is stuck in her high chair waiting to be cleaned up after a meal and the baby starts crying because he is hungry and the table still has food on it that needs to be put in the fridge and there is a big mess on the floor to be swept but all of the floor-sweepers are suddenly nowhere to be found and the kids forgot to feed the dog and then the phone rings...I just want somebody else to do it!

And all you fellow homeschooling moms out there…let’s face it, we’ve ALL had thoughts about sending our kids to public school. Why? Because we just want somebody else to do it! Let them deal with the bad attitude, the laziness, the complaining, the distractability, the look that says, “I just don’t get it!,” the explaining and re-explaining and drawing a picture, and all the while the baby is crying or the meal is burning and of course the other children need things, too…yeah, sometimes I just want somebody else to do it.

And we take very seriously our job as parents in discipling our children in the Lord. So we teach, we train, we discipline, and we encourage…all the time, every day. We model Godly living, to the best of our ability. And when we fall short, we share that with our kids, too. It’s not like they don’t know it, anyway. But, you know, on days like today I just want somebody else to do that, too. It’s a lot of work!

Sometimes, frankly, it’s easier to just “not” make the effort. But if I don’t nurture my children in the Lord, there’s no one to fill that gap. Nobody else can do it like we parents can. That’s why God gave us that responsibility (see Deuteronomy 6:6-7)! Oh, but I just want somebody else to do it, Lord! I’m tired today…

Funny how at times like this the Scriptures we read each morning just scream with relevance. I recall yesterday my husband sharing from Hebrews, and we talked specifically about verse 14 (NIV): “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” We discussed the importance of holiness, and being set apart for the Lord–which means that often we will do things that aren’t considered “normal.” And doing things differently–and diligently, at that–takes effort. It’s not easy!

So whether you’re a stay-at-home mom when our culture says two incomes are necessary, or whether you make all the sacrifices associated with homeschooling, or whether you simply recognize that your children’s discipleship is your responsibility–and you take it seriously–likely you will look at how others are doing it and you’ll want to go the “easier” route, from time to time. You’ll be tempted to say, I just want somebody else to do it! But, let’s face it, our children deserve our best effort. The pay off is well worth the investment, if we can just stay the course. So as I write, I’m trying to encourage myself–and I hope you will, too!

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:3-8)